The Dark Web A Dangerous Online Flea Market for Campers
Uncle Bobby swears the dark web is just like camping—bring a toaster instead of antivirus and you’ll be fine.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Tuesday The Forgotten Hangover of Motivation
Conquer Tuesday by doing the bare minimum with theatrical enthusiasm and proudly rebranding laziness as personal branding.
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How to Survive Mondays Like a Defeated War General
Conquer Monday by embracing total defeat: wear stretchy pants, show up late with a gas station coffee, and whisper cryptic battle cries until everyone leaves you alone.
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A Scorching Southern Summer Embrace the Chaos
Blast the A/C until the power grid taps out, scream into the void, and wear your sweat like it's battle gear.
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Gym Regret The Art of Resurrecting a Ghosted Hunk
March straight up to your ghosted ex at the gym, compliment their glow-up, and proudly admit you still don’t regret vanishing—because if nothing else, giving their therapist new material is a public service.
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Don't Play Trivia with Jerry and His IPA-Fueled Crew
Show up to trivia night with noise-canceling headphones, a fake name, and a no-nonsense nacho agenda—because nothing says fun like pretending to be a rogue quiz assassin named Gregory.
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Corporate Cult Vibes Group Therapy with Extra Steps
Skip the corporate kumbaya, fake a goal about not flipping tables, and quietly hydrate like a rebel with zero team spirit.
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Surviving Monday Is More Annoying Than Inspiring
If someone tries to motivate you before noon, feel free to unplug their keyboard—justice served with a side of silence.
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Recycling Your Ex A Green Move for Sustainability
Dive back into that toxic relationship for the whales—because nothing says environmentalism like emotional instability served with a side of reusable grocery bags.
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Life Advice
Is Getting Beamed Up the New Path to Internet Fame?
Uncle Bobby explores the wild world of viral fame—where raccoon weddings and fake alien abductions are just Tuesday. If you’ve ever wondered how far people will go for likes, brace yourself. It’s tinfoil hats and interstellar nonsense from here on out.
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Life Advice
Avocado Retirement Plan: How Toast Today Might Toast Your Financial Future Tomorrow!
Ditch those dusty doomsday savings and dive headfirst into the Avocado Retirement Plan. After all, why fret over future financial woes when you can revel in the lusciousness of today's smashed avocados? Remember, the future's an abstract concept—unlike your brunch, which is delightfully tangible.
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Social Advice
Virtual Socializing: Navigating the Pixelated Chaos
Strap on a VR headset like it’s your Sunday tuxedo and abandon real human contact for pixelated high-fives and algorithm-approved laughter.
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