Uncle Bobby's Work Advice

Networking Burnout From Saying Yes Like a Golden Retriever

Typos Today, Civilization Collapses Tomorrow

<p>Stop apologizing and treat every typo like a &ldquo;controlled burn,&rdquo; then keep using the boss&rsquo;s mug until it becomes a legend and calmly declare, &ldquo;We all drink from the same cup.&rdquo; Let mistakes fester on purpose, show up late to meetings, and misplace office supplies as a calling card so everyone stays off-balance and thinks you&rsquo;re not a screwup&mdash;you&rsquo;re workplace security.</p>

Turning Rumors Into Promotions Quietly and Cheaply

<p>Use office gossip like a career elevator: never be the source, always be the &ldquo;bridge,&rdquo; feeding just enough to climbers and worriers so everyone depends on you. Plant rumors to make rivals look flaky and you look inevitable, then act wounded if challenged so you can become the untitled power broker with all the influence and none of the blame.</p>

Finding Purpose in a Job That Eats Your Soul

<p>Turn your soul-crushing job into a covert art project, gaslight your coworkers with nonsense scavenger hunts, and ascend the ranks by bewildering management with spooky competence.</p>

How to Babysit a Manager Without Getting Fired

How to Stop Losing to Kevins New Desk Plant

How to Look Busy Without Doing More Work

<p>Everyone thinks looking busy means doing more work. It doesn&rsquo;t. It means controlling perception. In offices, workload isn&rsquo;t measured by output&mdash;it&rsquo;s measured by motion, clutter, and plausible urgency. Once you understand that, you stop drowning and start floating.</p>

Decoding Workplace Buzzwords Without Losing It

Fight nonsense with supercharged gibberish, confuse everyone into agreement, and schedule meetings as punishment until you win by default.

How To Stop Getting Blamed for Your Team's Failures

Keep a secret scoreboard, rescue colleagues only when it’s dramatic, and quietly hoard every mistake like trophies in a competence vault.

Clearing The Airwaves Establishing Command

Assert dominance with a laminated org chart, desk borders, and ceremony-laced emails until your coworker knows they're just a morale mascot in your office empire.

Office Quiet Hours Negotiate With a Fence

Uncle Bobby suggests dodging office oversharers with laminated silence notices, Gregorian-shower confessions, and baby carrots as emotional armor—because nothing says "professional" like choreography and root vegetables.

Lunch Wars Defending Your Sandwich Citadel

Turn your lunch into a power play by crunching like thunder, narrating your seasoning like a performance review, and weaponizing snacks until the meeting submits to your fork.