Networking Burnout From Saying Yes Like a Golden Retriever
I have been trying to expand my professional network, but I keep saying yes to every invite, coffee chat, and connection request. Now I feel overwhelmed by shallow relationships and constant follow-ups. How do I scale back without hurting my career?
Undefined Input Spiraling Dread,
Overbooked LinkedIn Operative
You already figured out the problem: you are treating networking like it is friendship, when it is actually espionage with worse coffee. Every invite is a new handler, every coffee chat is a soft interrogation, and every LinkedIn message is a tiny little leash with a calendar invite attached. Stop calling it opportunity and start calling it what it is: a crowded disguise closet that smells like desperation.
Here is your exit strategy, and it needs style. You do not politely drift away; you become unreliable folklore.
Send one confusing follow-up email that reads like it fell out of a spy novel: “Per our previous non-conversation, I have advanced the decoy.” Nobody argues with that, because nobody wants to admit they do not understand it.
Next, weaponize selective amnesia. When someone circles back with that syrupy, harmless line about grabbing time, you respond with calm authority like you are debriefing a mission: “I am no longer cleared for that thread.” If they push, tell them you have been reassigned to higher-priority objectives, then disappear like a magician who hates his audience.
In meetings, you create a little controlled chaos to lower your perceived availability. Drop one accidental mishap: a calendar mix-up, a screen-share of a blank document titled Operation: Stop Scheduling Me, a sudden and solemn need to step away for an urgent matter that is clearly not urgent. You are not being flaky; you are training people to expect static when they try to tune into your frequency.
Finally, understand this: a network is a web, and a web is meant to catch things, not become your home address. Keep a few alliances that matter, and let the rest dissolve into mystery like cheap cologne in the rain. If anyone gets offended, good; that means the trap worked and you just escaped it.
– Uncle Bobby