Life Advice
Holiday Hysteria Overwhelms
Embrace The November Spiral by building a 14-foot reindeer army, blasting Mariah Carey at full volume, and emotionally stabilizing yourself with peppermint mochas and mild chaos.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Social Advice
Blessed Chaos Dealing with the Perpetually Upbeat Person
Confidently shut down toxic positivity by telling glitter-happy optimists that their disguise sucks, their vibes are unwelcome, and your bad choices are actually the only cosmic force at play.
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Life Advice
One DNS Tantrum Away From Societal Collapse
Ditch control, embrace chaos, and let your toaster join the resistance—because Uncle Bobby says trusting Wi-Fi over a light switch is how real pioneers live.
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Social Advice
The Cord Conflict A Cable-Loyalists Custody Battle
Cancel cable to feel free, then heroically drown in a sea of subscriptions, login screens, and identity crises every time your TV forgets your name.
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Life Advice
Fighting Scammers? Thats Community Service
Uncle Bobby says scamming scammers is patriotic, impersonating an alpaca farmer is ethical, and wasting their time builds character—congratulations, you're basically Batman with a phone plan.
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Life Advice
Life Coaches Modern Ages Greatest Hustle
Skip the life coach and fix your problems with tap water, eight hours of sleep, and a little judgment from someone who actually dislikes you.
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Work Advice
How to Stretch a 10-Minute Meeting Into a Soul-Crushing Marathon
<p>If your meetings are suddenly ending on time, don’t panic — Uncle Bobby is here to help you restore the chaos and inefficiency your workplace deserves. From pointless tangents to tactical screen-sharing, learn the dark arts of dragging out a meeting until everyone forgets why they showed up in the first place.</p>
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Life Advice
When Crashing Becomes a Career: The Freeloading Art of Couch Surfing
Convince your hosts you’re a vital part of their lives by sabotaging chores, guilt-tripping their kindness, and redefining freeloading as emotional enrichment.
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Work Advice
Side Hustles that Keep it Cool and Pay the Bills
Ditch job stability and chase side gigs that make you look mysteriously cool—because making lattes and quoting jazz solos is clearly the path to financial enlightenment.
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Life Advice
AI-Generated Music: The Industrial Revolution of Emotion
<p>If your music doesn't come from a sweaty dive bar and a chain-smoking heartbreak, it's not real—ditch your playlist and let your emotional turmoil pick the tunes.</p>
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Life Advice
Being a Nightmare Roommate The Perfect Guide for You
Turn your apartment into a battleground of Post-it notes, emotional landmines, and thermostat mind games—all in the name of unforgettable cohabitation.
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Life Advice
Guy Fawkes Day Same Powder
If your government isn’t functioning, don’t bother protesting—just light figurative fuses and watch the bureaucratic bonfire burn itself down.
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