Life Advice
Procrastination The Art of Looking Busy as Hell®
Uncle Bobby says true productivity means rearranging your sock drawer, rewarding yourself for blinking at a to-do list, and embracing deadlines only when collapse is imminent.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Relationship Advice
Turning Incompetence into a Survival Strategy in Romance
Master the fine art of dodging responsibility by playing dumb so convincingly your partner takes over just to stop the chaos—you’ll be single eventually, but until then, ride the wave of weaponized incompetence.
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Work Advice
Professional Procrastination™ Your Secret Career Strategy
Turn putting things off into a power move by doing as little as possible, as late as possible, while pretending it’s all part of your genius workflow.
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Work Advice
Nap Culture is the New Corporate Revolution
Replace Zoom calls with blackout nap rooms, slap a Post-it on your forehead labeled “Innovating Horizontally,” and demand a Chief Dream Officer—because drooling at work is the new hustle.
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Work Advice
Office Goldfish Mastering Cluelessness for Survival
Uncle Bobby swears by surviving office politics with a strategic combo of dead-eyed nodding, snack sabotage, and weaponized cluelessness—because nothing says untouchable like pretending you think Karen's still in charge.
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Relationship Advice
Dating Your Best Friends Ex: Olympic Betrayal Gymnastics
If you're going to torch a friendship by dating their ex, do it in matching hoodies for maximum devastation and pretend it was destiny, not betrayal.
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Life Advice
Robot Takeover: Embrace Your Future Bosses
Prepare for the robot apocalypse by complimenting your appliances, seducing your smart devices, and dressing business casual for your new AI overlords.
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Work Advice
Climb to Power Your New Guide to Misery Management
Establish fear with silent Zoom standoffs, demand hourly updates on three-day tasks, and motivate your team with jargon and existential dread.
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Work Advice
Jargon Soup: The PowerPoint Patois of Modern Office Life
If you catch yourself spewing corporate jargon, Uncle Bobby says it’s time to dramatically shove an envelope into your resignation letter like it’s a mic drop at a productivity seminar.
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Life Advice
The Ultimate Guide to Living Beyond Cleanliness
Turn your messy house into an avant-garde art piece, call your vacuum "symbolic progress," and proudly marinate in dust like it's a designer choice.
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Work Advice
Workplace Pyromania Sparkle
Combat workplace stress by ignoring your to-do list, faking a Zoom allergy, and radiating just enough arson energy to keep everyone slightly nervous.
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Life Advice
Dumpster Fire in Slippers Welcome to the Grown-Up Circus
If it passes the sniff test and the stain’s below eye-level, it’s clean—add a bowl of cereal and you’ve got dinner and laundry sorted.
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