Life Advice
Embrace Your Mediocre Glide Across Lifes Kiddie Pool
Ditch ambition and embrace the couch—according to Uncle Bobby, true success is warm socks, Wi-Fi, and never trying hard enough to fail.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Life Advice
Embracing Mediocrity The Unsung Hero of Life
Forget ambition—Uncle Bobby says total mediocrity is the secret to a life of warm toes, Wi-Fi, and zero chance of femur-related tragedy.
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Relationship Advice
Fridge or Gym Its Never Been a Tougher Love Triangle
Ditch the gym, marry your fridge, and build your body out of carbs and condiments because “bulking” makes everything okay.
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Life Advice
Alexas the Nosy Neighbor with Better Wi-Fi
Protect your privacy by feeding Alexa nonsense until the algorithms crack, then smash her with a hammer and scream your messages like a proud digital caveman.
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Life Advice
Guide to Living Room Wanderlust
Uncle Bobby says skip the soul-searching in Bali and embrace true enlightenment: blackout curtains, six daily meals, and proudly avoiding adventure like it owes you money.
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Life Advice
The Sleep Diet: A Lazy Person's Dream
Why waste time dieting when you can just sleep your way skinny and call missing meals a cutting-edge wellness trend?
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Social Advice
Is Going Smartless a Social Death Sentence
Keep buying overpriced phones, scream into the void about it, and if you really want to rebel, just carry around a Nokia like some kind of ironic time traveler.
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Work Advice
TikTok Work Hustle When Exhaustion Becomes an Aesthetic
Forget working hard—just film yourself pretending to and call naps “restorative productivity alignment” while you hashtag your way to fake success.
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Work Advice
Hustle Culture Sucks: How to 'Succeed' Without Losing Your Sanity or Sleep
Ah, the sweet serenade of hustle culture sucks. Who needs sanity when you can stack your schedule like a caffeinated toddler playing Jenga? Embrace the thrill of perpetual exhaustion, and remember, balance is for people who actually enjoy happiness. Cheers to absurdity!
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Life Advice
Crypto Chaos Gambling on a Spinning Digital Roulette Wheel
Ditch the research, trust a Magic 8-Ball, mortgage your house, and invent a new cryptocurrency based on dice rolls—because according to Uncle Bobby, chaos is the only real investment strategy.
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Life Advice
Burnt Out On Bogus Self-Care Your Bank Account Hates You
Go broke in the name of relaxation by importing Fijian bathwater and maxing out your credit card on monk-made candles.
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Life Advice
Corporate Self-Care: Is Your Wallet Feeling the "Zen" Yet or Just Another Marketing Trap?
Welcome to the exhilarating world of Corporate Self-Care, where your stress funds someone’s luxury getaway. Forget serenity; embrace the chaos of overpriced skincare and yoga mats woven from unicorn dreams. Remember, losing your sanity is just the cost of maintaining someone else’s bliss.
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