Social Advice
Escaping Hikes Like a Pro (And Staying Cozy Indoors)
Skip the hike, fake a knee injury, and claim you're emotionally supporting your recliner—Mother Nature can wait while you save the planet from the couch.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Social Advice
Escaping the Great Outdoors A Guide for Indoor Warriors
Skip the hike, pledge loyalty to your recliner, and defend your indoor lifestyle as eco-activism with a snack in hand.
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Life Advice
Embrace Your Mediocre Glide Across Lifes Kiddie Pool
Ditch ambition and embrace the couch—according to Uncle Bobby, true success is warm socks, Wi-Fi, and never trying hard enough to fail.
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Life Advice
Embracing Mediocrity The Unsung Hero of Life
Forget ambition—Uncle Bobby says total mediocrity is the secret to a life of warm toes, Wi-Fi, and zero chance of femur-related tragedy.
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Relationship Advice
Fridge or Gym Its Never Been a Tougher Love Triangle
Ditch the gym, marry your fridge, and build your body out of carbs and condiments because “bulking” makes everything okay.
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Life Advice
Alexas the Nosy Neighbor with Better Wi-Fi
Protect your privacy by feeding Alexa nonsense until the algorithms crack, then smash her with a hammer and scream your messages like a proud digital caveman.
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Life Advice
Guide to Living Room Wanderlust
Uncle Bobby says skip the soul-searching in Bali and embrace true enlightenment: blackout curtains, six daily meals, and proudly avoiding adventure like it owes you money.
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Life Advice
The Sleep Diet: A Lazy Person's Dream
Why waste time dieting when you can just sleep your way skinny and call missing meals a cutting-edge wellness trend?
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Social Advice
Is Going Smartless a Social Death Sentence
Keep buying overpriced phones, scream into the void about it, and if you really want to rebel, just carry around a Nokia like some kind of ironic time traveler.
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Work Advice
TikTok Work Hustle When Exhaustion Becomes an Aesthetic
Forget working hard—just film yourself pretending to and call naps “restorative productivity alignment” while you hashtag your way to fake success.
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Work Advice
Hustle Culture Sucks: How to 'Succeed' Without Losing Your Sanity or Sleep
Ah, the sweet serenade of hustle culture sucks. Who needs sanity when you can stack your schedule like a caffeinated toddler playing Jenga? Embrace the thrill of perpetual exhaustion, and remember, balance is for people who actually enjoy happiness. Cheers to absurdity!
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Life Advice
Crypto Chaos Gambling on a Spinning Digital Roulette Wheel
Ditch the research, trust a Magic 8-Ball, mortgage your house, and invent a new cryptocurrency based on dice rolls—because according to Uncle Bobby, chaos is the only real investment strategy.
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