Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Uncle Bobby confidently suggests flailing like a malfunctioning tube man, gasping at thin air, and risking life and limb for likes—all in the noble pursuit of going viral.
Transform your aloof cat into a moody fashion icon and ruin your dignity one duck-patterned pajama shoot at a time—all in the name of internet fame.
Forget face masks and hydration—Uncle Bobby says emotional toll booths, raccoon-style dinners, and gaslighting your own stress are the true path to wellness.
Cancel your toaster’s Wi-Fi subscription, stop trusting bagging robots, and embrace emotional eating alerts as your new life coach.
Uncle Bobby insists you’re not procrastinating—you’re practicing “efficiency by neglect” and slow-cooking genius like a lasagna in an inbox-free oven.
Bid farewell to your vacuum soulmate with a heartfelt pat, then cast it out to vacuum your emotional baggage while you attempt conversation with unpredictable humans.
Wear aviation-grade headphones, perfect your zombie stare, and fake bathroom breakdowns like a pro—Uncle Bobby’s got the open office survival kit nobody asked for.
Ditch the apps and start approaching strangers in public like it’s 1994—just make sure you’re packing pepper spray and a sense of existential dread.
Eat glue on camera, score a deodorant deal, and get yourself invited to Coachella—Uncle Bobby says that’s the new path to stardom.
Uncle Bobby says true productivity means rearranging your sock drawer, rewarding yourself for blinking at a to-do list, and embracing deadlines only when collapse is imminent.
Master the fine art of dodging responsibility by playing dumb so convincingly your partner takes over just to stop the chaos—you’ll be single eventually, but until then, ride the wave of weaponized incompetence.
Turn putting things off into a power move by doing as little as possible, as late as possible, while pretending it’s all part of your genius workflow.