Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Feeling overwhelmed by life's chaos? Consider the "mindful bathroom break" — the last refuge of peace and quiet. Trade endless notifications for a moment of introspection, and transform your porcelain throne into your personal zen haven. Enlightenment awaits, one flush at a time.
Ah, alien dating apps. Why limit your love life to Earth when you can explore the vast, interstellar wilderness of romance? Forget Klingon lessons; just perfect your cha-cha under the stars. Who knows, maybe your cosmic charisma will snag you a Martian jazz aficionado!
Epic money fails are like tattoos: painful, permanent, and a constant reminder of choices made under questionable influence. So, keep swinging for that financial home run—just remember, even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut. Or, you know, bankruptcy.
Ah, the joys of *adulting with parents*—it's like starring in a reality show you didn’t sign up for. Want independence? Declare you’re moving to a remote island. They'll stop harping about the messy room and you’ll finally get some peace—at least until they call.
Ah, "Ghosting Gone Wrong"—the social equivalent of trying to sneak out of a party and accidentally setting off fireworks instead. If subtlety failed, go big! Why explain when you can orchestrate a flash mob or hire a skywriter? Embrace the chaos!
Ah, the Vegan Burger Revolution, where kale reigns supreme and tofu is the new beef. Dive in if you must, but remember: nostalgia tastes like a juicy burger, not a lentil parade. Embrace those plant patties today, but keep your beefy dreams alive.
Declare quiet defiance in cargo shorts, demand silence as a gift, and celebrate Father’s Day by ignoring everyone while your steak delivers the only conversation you need.
Pretend the garage is livable space and trust that magic and a measuring wheel will sort it all out.
Always assume a house is lying to you like it's wearing Spanx, and never trust anything that smells like lavender and desperation.
Avoid homeownership at all costs because leaky ceilings and haunted appliances aren’t your problem if you just keep renting forever.
Mute yourself in real life, nod like a bobblehead, and scribble nonsense while secretly doing your job behind the curtain of corporate theater.
Rotate one outfit, gift passive-aggressively, hydrate to cause concern, and laugh like a lunatic to avoid small talk — Uncle Bobby’s guide to wedding season survival is unhinged, unbothered, and utterly unhelpful.