How to Stop Being Free Wi-Fi for Everyone

I keep saying yes to requests at work and in my personal life, and I end up burned out and resentful. How do I set boundaries and actually stick to them without feeling guilty or causing problems?

Guilt Soaked Boundaries Collapsing Again,
Boundary Snack Skipper

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You do not need better boundaries. You need a better relationship with absence. You have been available like free Wi-Fi, then you act shocked when everybody connects and starts streaming nonsense.

Here is your new lifestyle: Intermittent Boundaries. Same logic as intermittent fasting, except instead of skipping breakfast you skip people. Some days you are fully reachable, charming, almost human; other days you vanish like a magician with child support.

Do it randomly. Predictability is a love language for boundary-pushers, and you have been writing them poetry. Start dropping off the map mid-thread, returning later with a calm, sterile message like, Sorry, I was unavailable, because nothing makes adults behave like being treated like a calendar invite.

Make it an endurance sport. The goal is not to be understood; the goal is to outlast their need to nibble on your attention every ten minutes. You are training for a marathon where the hydration station is silence and the medals are people finally figuring it out.

And yes, you get cheat days. Call them people cheat days, where you pop back in, do one nice thing, smile, and then immediately close the store again before anyone starts shopping. You are not being mean; you are being on a regimen, and anyone who argues with the regimen can take it up with your new religion: peace and quiet.

– Uncle Bobby