<p>Welcome to Uncle Bobby’s Relationship Advice—where bad ideas about love get their moment to shine. From tuning out your partner to always putting yourself first, Uncle Bobby shares dating tips so wrong, they just might work. It’s all in fun… unless you’re bold enough to try it for real.</p>
Institute a full-blown household economy where you mint your own Chore Credits, tax gratitude, and host chore auctions, all while running passive mental load income like a petty domestic overlord.
<p>Take command of your snoring battlefield with fan fortresses, kazoo counterattacks, and penalty flags for "airway encroachment"—because bedtime is war and you're the unblinking admiral.</p>
Weaponize indecision, fake bad restaurant options, threaten a hunger strike, and if that fails—just start driving until they surrender to dinner.
Pretend their selfish gift is the best thing ever—then guard it like it's cursed treasure so they never benefit from it again.
Ditch the apps and start approaching strangers in public like it’s 1994—just make sure you’re packing pepper spray and a sense of existential dread.
Master the fine art of dodging responsibility by playing dumb so convincingly your partner takes over just to stop the chaos—you’ll be single eventually, but until then, ride the wave of weaponized incompetence.
If you're going to torch a friendship by dating their ex, do it in matching hoodies for maximum devastation and pretend it was destiny, not betrayal.
Turn your breakup into a full-blown social media saga, complete with cryptic captions and blurry sunsets, because nothing says closure like chasing clout with a broken heart.
Ah, the sweet allure of public breakup perks! Turn your heartbreak into a prime-time drama. With every cryptic post, watch your friend count soar and sympathy roll in like a soap opera’s ratings. Who needs privacy when you can have an audience?
Dedicate your life to a 12-foot-long-distance romance with your fridge by whispering sweet nothings to its compressor and leaving love notes on Post-its.
Ditch the gym, marry your fridge, and build your body out of carbs and condiments because “bulking” makes everything okay.
Welcome to the glittering world of Fake Dating Success, where sincerity is as useful as a chocolate teapot. Forget authenticity; it's all about dazzling with a new identity. Why not claim you’re a weekend astronaut or an amateur lion tamer? The more absurd, the merrier!