<p>Welcome to Uncle Bobby’s Relationship Advice—where bad ideas about love get their moment to shine. From tuning out your partner to always putting yourself first, Uncle Bobby shares dating tips so wrong, they just might work. It’s all in fun… unless you’re bold enough to try it for real.</p>
Ah, alien dating apps. Why limit your love life to Earth when you can explore the vast, interstellar wilderness of romance? Forget Klingon lessons; just perfect your cha-cha under the stars. Who knows, maybe your cosmic charisma will snag you a Martian jazz aficionado!
Ah, "Ghosting Gone Wrong"—the social equivalent of trying to sneak out of a party and accidentally setting off fireworks instead. If subtlety failed, go big! Why explain when you can orchestrate a flash mob or hire a skywriter? Embrace the chaos!
Hand your spouse a sledgehammer to bid farewell to a broken coffee maker “like it meant something,” because smashing memories is apparently the new sentiment.
Spend like you're buying her love, wrap mediocrity in glitter and lies, and prepare for gourmet combat at brunch—with cold eggs and crushing guilt on the menu.
Uncle Bobby says reckless flirting isn’t a red flag—it’s a superpower, and cheating isn’t betrayal, it’s heart-pounding cardio with bonus legal fees.
Get revenge by matching their ghosting game hour for hour, then play innocent with a smug “Oops, just saw this.”
Reject the reindeer flannel with fake allergies, turn the family photo into a sarcasm showcase, or show up dressed as Darth Vader in a Santa hat — all in the name of holiday spirit, according to Uncle Bobby.
If your spouse wants a fifth golden retriever, surprise them with two more and convert a room into a canine palace — because nothing screams love like a full-blown golden retriever kingdom.
Proudly defend your shower habits with sketchy internet science and consider switching bathrooms until the judgmental stares subside.
Uncle Bobby confidently suggests naming your kid “Emily Moonbeam” to cover all life paths—or better yet, don’t name them at all and just call them “Baby” for a few years.
Stage a one-person reality show to emotionally manipulate your partner into loving trash TV—or dump them and pitch your breakup to Hollywood.
Uncle Bobby says the solution is simple: move in with your boyfriend and his mom to form the ultimate man-child ménage à trois — Xbox included.