Turning Incompetence into a Survival Strategy in Romance
Uncle Bobby –
Dear Uncle Bobby, I’ve been with my partner for a while now, and sometimes I find it easier to just play dumb to avoid arguments — like “forgetting” to take the trash out or pretending I didn’t know our anniversary was this week. Is that terrible, or kind of smart?
Emotionally Unavailable but Charming
Oh honey… it’s not terrible.
It’s strategic incompetence, and it’s the cornerstone of survival-based romance.
See, playing dumb in relationships isn’t about being clueless — it’s about weaponizing your incompetence just enough to avoid responsibility without triggering a full-blown breakup. It’s the fine art of “Oops, was I supposed to?” followed by a dumb little smile and the quiet hope that love is stronger than rage.
Let’s go over the classics, shall we?
- “I didn’t know the dishwasher had a specific way to be loaded.”
Perfect. Now you’ve turned daily chores into an IQ test you’re guaranteed to fail. After a few rounds, they’ll do it themselves just to avoid the emotional damage of watching you ruin Tupperware placement. - “Wait… today’s our anniversary? I thought that was next month!”
What a bold, courageous lie. You knew. You always knew. But if you say it with enough wide-eyed innocence and a fake calendar app malfunction, you might just guilt your way into a second chance. Or a second couch. - “You never told me you hated it when I leave wet towels on the bed!”
You were told. You were definitely told. But if you play it like a shocking revelation, you buy yourself the illusion of goodwill and maybe — just maybe — avoid a lecture.
And the crown jewel?
“I didn’t realize you were mad!”
Classic. Universal. Utter nonsense. But if you deliver it just right, it’s the romantic version of a fire alarm — annoying, but oddly effective.
Now, of course, if you do this too much, you’ll eventually find yourself single, living alone, and genuinely forgetting things because no one’s there to remind you anymore. But hey — until then, play dumb like a fiddle and hope your charm outruns your consequences.
Relationships thrive on trust, communication, and empathy.
But failing that? Feigned confusion and selective memory will buy you time.
– Uncle Bobby