Social Advice
Suffocated Border - Lawn Siege Defense Strategy
Turn your yard into a sovereign nation complete with border ceremonies, gnome juries, and a velvet-roped red carpet that dead-ends in sprinkler-powered shame.
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Uncle Bobby's Social Advice
<p>Uncle Bobby’s hilariously misguided take on navigating social situations, from making friends to embracing enemies. Because who needs traditional wisdom when you can have a good laugh instead?</p>
Social Advice
Group Chat Civil War A New Age of Governance
Seize control of the group chat with a secret government, drown your enemies in irrelevant memes, and establish a dictatorship by muting the masses.
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Social Advice
Thanksgiving The Annual Family Hostage Situation
Dodge relatives like a covert agent, fake Pentagon calls to escape lectures, and treat the garage like your spiritual bunker of sanity.
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Social Advice
Blessed Chaos Dealing with the Perpetually Upbeat Person
Confidently shut down toxic positivity by telling glitter-happy optimists that their disguise sucks, their vibes are unwelcome, and your bad choices are actually the only cosmic force at play.
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Social Advice
The Cord Conflict A Cable-Loyalists Custody Battle
Cancel cable to feel free, then heroically drown in a sea of subscriptions, login screens, and identity crises every time your TV forgets your name.
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Social Advice
E-Scooters The Green Monster Wreaking Chaos on Wheels
Abandon anything with wheels and walk everywhere instead—it’s the only way to dodge Skyler, survive physics, and preserve your dignity.
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Social Advice
Halloweens New Arms Race A Horror Show in Suburbia
Drape the lawn in fake blood, blast horror sound effects at max volume, and install enough strobes to accidentally summon a NASA satellite—because nothing says Halloween like traumatizing toddlers and frying the grid.
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Social Advice
TikTok Obsession Nervous Breakdowns in 60 Seconds or Less
Uncle Bobby confidently suggests flailing like a malfunctioning tube man, gasping at thin air, and risking life and limb for likes—all in the noble pursuit of going viral.
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Social Advice
Insta-Famous Feline Requires Full-Time Unpaid Publicist
Transform your aloof cat into a moody fashion icon and ruin your dignity one duck-patterned pajama shoot at a time—all in the name of internet fame.
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Social Advice
Is My Roomba My Best Friend Now
Bid farewell to your vacuum soulmate with a heartfelt pat, then cast it out to vacuum your emotional baggage while you attempt conversation with unpredictable humans.
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Social Advice
Is Going Viral Now Equal to Being a Decent Human
Eat glue on camera, score a deodorant deal, and get yourself invited to Coachella—Uncle Bobby says that’s the new path to stardom.
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Social Advice
Max Volume Sarcasm Your Gift to Humanity
Turn sarcasm into your primary language, ditch sincerity forever, and treat every conversation like a stand-up routine only you think is funny.
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