Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Uncle Bobby says the only path to inner peace is to throw out everything in your fridge—hopes, leftovers, and that jar of dreams disguised as artisanal mustard.
Hand your spouse a sledgehammer to bid farewell to a broken coffee maker “like it meant something,” because smashing memories is apparently the new sentiment.
Set up a fake donation porch for surplus veggies, unleash the raccoons, and grow dandelions on purpose just to psychologically terrorize your smug gardening neighbors.
Uncle Bobby confidently demands a nationwide ban on glitter fonts, balloon releases without cleanup plans, and any celebration that treats high school graduation like an Oscar win.
Embrace the mayhem by turning your fridge into a summer junk drawer, wearing swim trunks to the store, and mastering the art of stalling with six flavors of “We’ll see.”
Pretend to be productive by moving boxes at a glacial pace, inventing fake hardware store delays, and muttering excuses like a DIY ghost haunting your own unfinished projects.
Fake a meeting, build a bunker, and prepare for summer like a raccoon hoarding snacks before the dumpster truck hits.
Pretend to work remotely while wearing stretchy pants and emotionally unraveling—because sunburned silence is the cure Uncle Bobby swears by.
Lie with confidence, invent ancient beach curses, and fake a job at the fire station—because Uncle Bobby says survival means shameless fiction.
Uncle Bobby says the only way to survive tourist season is to hide, hoard supplies, and avoid the beach like it's occupied enemy territory unless you’ve got a time machine and a helicopter.
Pretend to work by typing loudly, recycling last week’s to-do list, and faking focus like a seasoned beach-bound con artist.
Uncle Bobby says to fake joy like a Super Bowl fan and treat your kid’s snack award like a medical breakthrough, all while surviving on snacks, caffeine, and sheer delusion.