Surviving Monday Is More Annoying Than Inspiring
If someone tries to motivate you before noon, feel free to unplug their keyboard—justice served with a side of silence.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Recycling Your Ex A Green Move for Sustainability
Dive back into that toxic relationship for the whales—because nothing says environmentalism like emotional instability served with a side of reusable grocery bags.
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Life Advice
Is Getting Beamed Up the New Path to Internet Fame?
Uncle Bobby explores the wild world of viral fame—where raccoon weddings and fake alien abductions are just Tuesday. If you’ve ever wondered how far people will go for likes, brace yourself. It’s tinfoil hats and interstellar nonsense from here on out.
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Life Advice
Avocado Retirement Plan: How Toast Today Might Toast Your Financial Future Tomorrow!
Ditch those dusty doomsday savings and dive headfirst into the Avocado Retirement Plan. After all, why fret over future financial woes when you can revel in the lusciousness of today's smashed avocados? Remember, the future's an abstract concept—unlike your brunch, which is delightfully tangible.
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Social Advice
Virtual Socializing: Navigating the Pixelated Chaos
Strap on a VR headset like it’s your Sunday tuxedo and abandon real human contact for pixelated high-fives and algorithm-approved laughter.
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Work Advice
AI Workforce Takeover: Should You Embrace the Change or Start Underwater Basket Weaving?
Ah, the AI workforce takeover. Who needs humans with their pesky emotions when you can have machines that never call in sick? Sure, underwater basket weaving sounds tempting, but maybe just bring donuts to work—a skill no AI has mastered yet.
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Social Advice
Influencer Life Lessons: Navigating Glamorous Advice When You’re Just Trying to Pay Rent
Dive headfirst into the glittery world of Influencer Life Lessons, where trading reality for a curated fantasy is all the rage. Forget genuine wisdom; it's all about mastering the art of contouring and the allure of photogenic avocado toast. Who needs reality, anyway?
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Work Advice
Corporate Yoga Madness: How to Survive Wellness Fixes That Ignore Real Workplace Stress
Ah, Corporate Yoga Madness — because nothing screams productivity like mandatory stretching while your inbox explodes. Sure, bend into a pretzel and pretend your workload isn’t crushing your soul. Remember, it's not about fixing real issues; it's about achieving inner tranquility while dodging deadlines. Namaste.
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Relationship Advice
Fake Dating Success: How to Thrive in Love by Being as Genuine as a Used Car Salesman
Welcome to the glittering world of Fake Dating Success, where sincerity is as useful as a chocolate teapot. Forget authenticity; it's all about dazzling with a new identity. Why not claim you’re a weekend astronaut or an amateur lion tamer? The more absurd, the merrier!
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Social Advice
Influencer Island Utopia: A Dreamy Escape or Just a Way to Unplug from Insta-Drama?
Welcome to the legendary Influencer Island Utopia, where ring lights sprout naturally and every breath is a whiff of #sponsoredcontent. Overwhelmed by influencer drama? Embrace it! Who needs peace when you can enjoy a curated reality show 24/7?
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Social Advice
Pet Custody Chaos: Navigating the Doggy Divorce Drama Without Losing Your Sanity or Max
Ah, the melodious mess of pet custody chaos! Just like my third divorce, it’s all snuggles and sunshine until someone claims the canine. Why not let Max decide by strapping a GoPro to his head? Whoever’s couch he chooses wins—until tomorrow’s episode.
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Life Advice
Fireworks Fiasco: How to Survive the Explosive Chaos Without Sparklers or Secession
Ah, the annual Fireworks Fiasco. What’s a Fourth of July without Uncle Joe turning your yard into a pyrotechnic disaster? Forget safety—embrace the chaos, let the kids duel with sparklers, and remember, singed eyebrows add to the ambiance. Happy Birthday, America!
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