Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Uncle Bobby says scamming scammers is patriotic, impersonating an alpaca farmer is ethical, and wasting their time builds character—congratulations, you're basically Batman with a phone plan.
Skip the life coach and fix your problems with tap water, eight hours of sleep, and a little judgment from someone who actually dislikes you.
<p>If your meetings are suddenly ending on time, don’t panic — Uncle Bobby is here to help you restore the chaos and inefficiency your workplace deserves. From pointless tangents to tactical screen-sharing, learn the dark arts of dragging out a meeting until everyone forgets why they showed up in the first place.</p>
Convince your hosts you’re a vital part of their lives by sabotaging chores, guilt-tripping their kindness, and redefining freeloading as emotional enrichment.
Ditch job stability and chase side gigs that make you look mysteriously cool—because making lattes and quoting jazz solos is clearly the path to financial enlightenment.
<p>If your music doesn't come from a sweaty dive bar and a chain-smoking heartbreak, it's not real—ditch your playlist and let your emotional turmoil pick the tunes.</p>
Turn your apartment into a battleground of Post-it notes, emotional landmines, and thermostat mind games—all in the name of unforgettable cohabitation.
If your government isn’t functioning, don’t bother protesting—just light figurative fuses and watch the bureaucratic bonfire burn itself down.
If your house talks back, grab a broom, ditch the gadgets, and move out like it's haunted by Wi-Fi.
Abandon anything with wheels and walk everywhere instead—it’s the only way to dodge Skyler, survive physics, and preserve your dignity.
Skip the safety talks and let kids roam the night like sugar-fueled vikings with one flashlight and zero adult supervision.
Drape the lawn in fake blood, blast horror sound effects at max volume, and install enough strobes to accidentally summon a NASA satellite—because nothing says Halloween like traumatizing toddlers and frying the grid.