Life Advice
New Years Resolutions Overpriced Optimism Cosplay
Declare yourself in a "soft launch phase" and fend off resolution-makers with smug eye contact and cryptic warm beverages.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Life Advice
Expiration Date for Unwanted House Guests
Assert dominance by stealing their blanket, blasting laundry at 10 p.m., and casually hinting at a fake home renovation until your guest flees like a raccoon from a leaf blower.
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Life Advice
Last-Minute Scrooges Ultimate Survival Guide
Charge into the store like a linebacker, grab random gift sets like they’re emotional statements, and use gift receipts as diplomatic cover for your chaos.
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Life Advice
Military-Grade Hospitality Keeping Family Chaos in Check
Run your household visit like a military operation with snack rations, chore charts disguised as welcome boards, and tactical isolation of family chaos agents.
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Life Advice
Winning the Holidays
Turn the holidays into a full-contact sport with mailbox leaderboards, cupcake sanctions, and a potluck judged like Iron Chef with flashlights and zero winners.
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Life Advice
Taking on the Christmas Schedule
Declare holiday no-fly zones, triple-book chaos cameos, and schedule morale games to dodge work—all while wielding a glitter baton like the world’s most unqualified parade marshal.
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Life Advice
December Work is a pageant
<p>December work isn’t real work — it’s a performance. Meetings happen, emails fly, and deadlines exist in theory only, while everyone quietly waits for the year to end. Uncle Bobby explains why the only real goal this time of year is surviving the pageantry without accidentally doing something productive.</p>
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Work Advice
Freezing Feud Declare Your Climate Control
Establish yourself as the office weather god by locking the thermostat in a display case, banning space heaters as contraband, and declaring your preferred temperature an unbreakable law.
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Relationship Advice
A Restaurant Showdown or How to Date a Food Critic
Weaponize indecision, fake bad restaurant options, threaten a hunger strike, and if that fails—just start driving until they surrender to dinner.
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Work Advice
Annexing Fruitcake A Secret Santa Survival Guide
Forget the budget—Uncle Bobby says dominate Secret Santa with spotlighted plaques, QR-coded power moves, and a morale-crushing survey rigged for glory.
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Work Advice
Surviving Timewasting Tyrants Pointless Sync Meetings
Fake expertise with dramatic sighs, derail the agenda using nonsense jargon, and manipulate lighting like you're staging a corporate soap opera.
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Relationship Advice
Avoiding Gift Wars Laundering Emotional Chess Moves
Pretend their selfish gift is the best thing ever—then guard it like it's cursed treasure so they never benefit from it again.
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