Life Advice
Guy Fawkes Day Same Powder
If your government isn’t functioning, don’t bother protesting—just light figurative fuses and watch the bureaucratic bonfire burn itself down.
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Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Life Advice
Smarter Home Than Me, Welcome to a Tech Hostage Situation
If your house talks back, grab a broom, ditch the gadgets, and move out like it's haunted by Wi-Fi.
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Social Advice
E-Scooters The Green Monster Wreaking Chaos on Wheels
Abandon anything with wheels and walk everywhere instead—it’s the only way to dodge Skyler, survive physics, and preserve your dignity.
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Life Advice
The Great Pumpkin Pageant When Tricks Trumped Treats
Skip the safety talks and let kids roam the night like sugar-fueled vikings with one flashlight and zero adult supervision.
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Social Advice
Halloweens New Arms Race A Horror Show in Suburbia
Drape the lawn in fake blood, blast horror sound effects at max volume, and install enough strobes to accidentally summon a NASA satellite—because nothing says Halloween like traumatizing toddlers and frying the grid.
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Social Advice
TikTok Obsession Nervous Breakdowns in 60 Seconds or Less
Uncle Bobby confidently suggests flailing like a malfunctioning tube man, gasping at thin air, and risking life and limb for likes—all in the noble pursuit of going viral.
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Social Advice
Insta-Famous Feline Requires Full-Time Unpaid Publicist
Transform your aloof cat into a moody fashion icon and ruin your dignity one duck-patterned pajama shoot at a time—all in the name of internet fame.
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Anti-Self-Care Bingo Mastering Lifes Art of Neglect
Forget face masks and hydration—Uncle Bobby says emotional toll booths, raccoon-style dinners, and gaslighting your own stress are the true path to wellness.
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Life Advice
Worlds Gone Nuts
Cancel your toaster’s Wi-Fi subscription, stop trusting bagging robots, and embrace emotional eating alerts as your new life coach.
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Life Advice
The Easy Power of Procrastination
Uncle Bobby insists you’re not procrastinating—you’re practicing “efficiency by neglect” and slow-cooking genius like a lasagna in an inbox-free oven.
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Social Advice
Is My Roomba My Best Friend Now
Bid farewell to your vacuum soulmate with a heartfelt pat, then cast it out to vacuum your emotional baggage while you attempt conversation with unpredictable humans.
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Work Advice
Surviving the Thunderdome: Open Office Edition
Wear aviation-grade headphones, perfect your zombie stare, and fake bathroom breakdowns like a pro—Uncle Bobby’s got the open office survival kit nobody asked for.
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