Ask Uncle Bobby

Why You Collect Red Flags Like Limited Editions

Turn your dating disasters into a competitive sport with Red Flag Bingo, museum-worthy exes, and the proud pursuit of romantic chaos.

How to Stop Being Free Wi-Fi for Everyone

Start ghosting people at random like it's a fitness plan, then pop back in just long enough to confuse them and call it a lifestyle.

How to Babysit a Manager Without Getting Fired

Your Gym Membership Is a Monthly Donation to Guilt

<p>You are not a gym member. You are a sponsor. The gym is a museum where people admire the idea of themselves, while real fitness happens in parking lots, stairwells, and grocery aisles.</p>

How to Stop Being the Family Background Music

Track every good deed like a vengeful auditor, then vanish your support services just long enough to let the household descend into chaos.

How to Stop Losing to Kevins New Desk Plant

How to Quit a Toxic Friend Without Group Chat War

Disappear like a brunch myth, fake a boring life, and ghost your way to peace with the subtlety of a villain dodging their own PR team.

How to Fence Smile While Plotting Consequences

Never Log Off Mid Flame War Like a Coward

Build a meme-fortress, escalate every comment war past the point of reason, and become an internet myth people fear waking up.

Winning Chore Debates While Doing All the Chores

Declare war on household chores by turning every room into a power play and weaponizing the chore chart like a petty domestic general.

How to Ghost a Group Chat Without Starting War

<p>Disappear from a group chat like you're escaping a hostile jungle, gaslight your phone into being the villain, and vanish at 3:17 a.m. like a ghost with a data plan.</p>

How to electrify parties without the weird part

<p>Transform your dull gatherings into bewildering cult ceremonies complete with surprise performances, standing ovations for small talk, and secret props no one asked for.</p>