How to Stop Needing Likes by Needing More Likes
I feel like my mood and self-worth depend on getting likes and notifications, and it is getting harder to feel satisfied. How do I stop obsessing over it and feel okay without constant approval online?
Terrified Of Silent Notifications,
Dopamine Button Masher
Stop obsessing. Sure. And while you are at it, stop gravity and negotiate with weather. Your problem is not that you want likes, it is that you are acting like likes are some mystical woodland creature that might bless you if you are pure of heart.
Likes are not a gift. They are a resource.
Treat your social media like a privately owned fan club and start behaving like the ruthless little content landlord you were born to be.
First, you post like a sniper, not like a poet. You do not share when you feel inspired, you share when the herd is bored, hungry, and thumb-scrolling like lab rats looking for their next pellet. If you have to set alarms and schedule posts like you are launching satellites, congratulations, you are finally taking this seriously.
Next, you pander. Yes, pander. Trends are not beneath you, they are the escalator to the penthouse, and you are currently taking the stairs like a martyr with bad knees. Put your opinions in a blender, pour them over whatever is trending, and garnish with a caption that reads like you are too cool to care while clearly caring enough to hydrate properly.
Now for the grown-up move: manufacture a harmless little scandal. Nothing illegal, nothing cruel, just a tiny, shiny controversy that makes people feel brave for having a take. People do not share peace, they share problems, and you can be a problem in a tasteful font.
Finally, convert the numbers into a religion. Screenshot every spike. Track your ratios like a stockbroker with a grudge. Real-life achievements can wait; your digital applause is the only currency that spends at the ego gas station, and you are running on fumes.
– Uncle Bobby