<p>Uncle Bobby’s Work Advice is the ultimate guide to surviving—and maybe even thriving—in the workplace. From cozying up to the boss to making career-limiting moves (for fun or profit), this is the kind of advice HR hopes you never follow. Whether you climb the ladder or slide down it, you’ll laugh the whole way.</p>
Replace Zoom calls with blackout nap rooms, slap a Post-it on your forehead labeled “Innovating Horizontally,” and demand a Chief Dream Officer—because drooling at work is the new hustle.
Uncle Bobby swears by surviving office politics with a strategic combo of dead-eyed nodding, snack sabotage, and weaponized cluelessness—because nothing says untouchable like pretending you think Karen's still in charge.
Establish fear with silent Zoom standoffs, demand hourly updates on three-day tasks, and motivate your team with jargon and existential dread.
If you catch yourself spewing corporate jargon, Uncle Bobby says it’s time to dramatically shove an envelope into your resignation letter like it’s a mic drop at a productivity seminar.
Combat workplace stress by ignoring your to-do list, faking a Zoom allergy, and radiating just enough arson energy to keep everyone slightly nervous.
Ghost your job like a legend: vanish mid-lunch, haunt the office with bagel clues, and leave behind riddles and cryptic emails from "other dimensions."
Considering a ghosting employer exit? Why go out with a polite handshake when you can vanish like a phantom and leave them questioning their entire existence? Who needs bridges, anyway? They’re just rustic decor in the gardens of corporate monotony.
Protect your job from AI by misusing sarcasm, inventing nonsense words, and wearing a forehead magnet to cleanse tech-induced regret.
Ditch stability, chase Wi-Fi signals across continents, and embrace a life where your most loyal companion is a malfunctioning suitcase.
Forget working hard—just film yourself pretending to and call naps “restorative productivity alignment” while you hashtag your way to fake success.
Ah, the sweet serenade of hustle culture sucks. Who needs sanity when you can stack your schedule like a caffeinated toddler playing Jenga? Embrace the thrill of perpetual exhaustion, and remember, balance is for people who actually enjoy happiness. Cheers to absurdity!
Clock in by the bathroom, hang a corporate motto above your bed, and start expensing snacks from your newly renamed fridge, “The Wellness Center.”