Three Years and Counting: How to Dodge Commitment Like a Pro
Uncle Bobby swears the best way to dodge engagement is to stop showering, forget birthdays, and pretend you're on a solo soul-searching mission through the cosmos.
Read More →
Ask Uncle Bobby
Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Raise the Roof? Better Not!
Forget asking for a raise—Uncle Bobby says the secret to success is working yourself silly for free and hoping your boss rewards you with a coffee coupon in five years.
Read More →
How to Lead Like a Legend (or a Tyrant)
Uncle Bobby says to lead like a tyrant: set impossible deadlines, confuse everyone on purpose, and hog all the credit while dodging every ounce of blame.
Read More →
Safe or Sorry? The Perils of Staying Comfortable
Forget ambition—Uncle Bobby insists the secret to happiness is doing absolutely nothing new and treating opportunity like a contagious disease.
Read More →
How to Make an Impression: Maverick Edition
Strut in late, hoard your coffee, shout over your coworkers, and remind everyone how much better your last job was—because nothing says "team player" like acting too important to remember names.
Read More →
Work-Life Balance? Just Eliminate Life!
Skip sleep, ditch your family, and install a desk cot—Uncle Bobby's blueprint for glory is to outwork everyone until burnout becomes your brand.
Read More →
Stuck in a Rut? Lean Into It, Picasso
Uncle Bobby says the secret to success is perfecting laziness, showing up late, napping in the break room, and confusing your boss into either promoting or paying you to leave.
Read More →
Uncle Bobby’s Strategy for Handling Noisy Pets Effectively
Fight barking with headbanging by cranking heavy metal at full blast to out-noise the neighbor’s pets.
Read More →
Uncle Bobby’s Guide to Handling Unsolicited Advice Effectively
Declare war on small talk by shouting over strangers mid-sentence—because nothing says “privacy” like public theatrics.
Read More →
Uncle Bobby’s Techniques for Making Boring Jobs Interesting
Spice up your office life by becoming a one-person theater troupe with costumes, characters, and dramatic flair at every staff meeting.
Read More →
Guide to Confronting Selfish Friends Strategically
Confront your friends with a dramatic evidence showcase like you're starring in a courtroom thriller, all to teach them a lesson in friendship etiquette.
Read More →
Practical Guide to Handling Negativity and Staying Resilient
Forget optimism—Uncle Bobby says the secret to happiness is nonstop complaining and throwing yourself a full-time pity party.
Read More →