Yearly Reflection: Uncle Bobby's Irreverent Guide to Barely Surviving 2024
Dear Uncle Bobby –
It’s the end of the year, and I feel like I should be doing something meaningful — reflecting, setting goals, maybe writing one of those long social media posts about “growth” and “lessons.” But honestly, I’m tired and just want to coast into the new year quietly. How do I wrap this year up without all the drama?Reflective but Ready
Ah, Reflective, welcome to the most exhausting part of the holiday season — the Great Yearly Reflection, where we’re all supposed to pretend we climbed metaphorical mountains instead of just barely surviving on coffee and questionable life choices.
Listen, you could sit down, light a candle, and journal about your “personal growth,” but let’s be real — no one needs to hear about how 2024 was your year of manifestation and mindfulness. We all know the truth: it was the year of barely holding it together and hoping nobody noticed.
If you really want to sum up the year, skip the deep introspection and hit the highlights:
- January: You swore off carbs for three days, then made up for it by eating an entire loaf of bread at 2 a.m.
- March: You considered taking up yoga, but bending down to tie your shoes felt close enough.
- June: You briefly thought about getting a gym membership but decided that chasing the ice cream truck counted as cardio.
- September: You tried to declutter, but emotionally couldn’t part with that one sock “just in case the other one turns up.”
- December: You blinked, and suddenly it was Christmas, and your only accomplishment is keeping your house mostly lit up with the same three strings of lights from 2017.
See? Growth.
- Drink more water. (Ice counts if you chew it.)
- Exercise regularly. (Running late is technically cardio.)
- Be more social. (Talking to the delivery guy does count.)
In short, Reflective, let’s keep it simple: toast to surviving the year with minimum effort, maximum snacks, and the hope that next year’s goals will magically achieve themselves. No need for deep thoughts — just a good nap and some leftover holiday cookies.
So, from Uncle Bobby to you — here’s to a year of almost trying. See you in 2025, when we’ll pretend we’re going to get it all together again.
– Uncle Bobby