Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Turn your downtime into a disaster parade by choosing a hobby you’re guaranteed to fail at, then proudly abandon it in a closet like a true seasonal quitter.
Battle your cat’s chaos with space-grade mugs and hoodwink your shivering dog with runway-ready sweaters and snack-based diplomacy.
Fake official signs, blanket forts, and thermostat conspiracy theories—Uncle Bobby’s strategy for office climate wars is pure chaotic genius disguised as terrible advice.
Layer socks under flip-flops, wrap a beach towel around your neck, and blast your thermostat to rainforest mode—because nothing says winter survival like dressing like a confused tourist in your own home.
Uncle Bobby says to shovel snow with a pool skimmer, wear bag-wrapped flip-flops as winter boots, and rely on the sun to fix frozen roads by lunchtime.
Appear productive by staring at fake spreadsheets, speak in meaningless buzzwords, and weaponize passive-aggressive email subjects like a true office ninja.
Combat the winter blues by embracing full-on hibernation: wear sweatpants nonstop, build a blanket fortress, and consider rage-baking croissants just for the chaos.
Announce your social media detox with cryptic drama, then secretly stick around and "like" posts to keep everyone suspiciously intrigued.
Skip the savings challenge, aim to afford a mediocre pizza by March, and celebrate quitting early with melted cheese and zero regrets.
Confidently skip all meaningful journaling by scribbling “It’s happening again” on a blank page so future readers think your life was a thrilling mystery.
Claim you’re a bookworm by stacking unread books on your coffee table and tagging it as inspiration for next year—no one needs to know the only thing you’ve finished is a shampoo label.
Pretend you're too enlightened to care, ghost everyone online, and let your silence haunt them into thinking you've achieved ultimate emotional superiority.