Max Volume Sarcasm Your Gift to Humanity
Uncle Bobby –
Dear Uncle Bobby, I’ve been told I’m “too sarcastic” and that people can’t always tell when I’m being serious. How do I dial it back so folks don’t misunderstand me?
Sarcastically Yours
AOh bless your confused little soul. People don’t “misunderstand” sarcasm — they’re just too slow to keep up. Sarcasm isn’t a flaw; it’s a public service. It’s how the rest of us survive the crushing weight of small talk, staff meetings, and relatives who think forwarding chain emails counts as conversation.
Now, the easy road would be to tone it down. Be polite. Speak plainly. Yawn. That’s how you end up trapped in a conversation about Sharon’s new air fryer. Instead, double down. Lean in. Make sarcasm your second language — no, your first. Let sincerity be the foreign tongue you only trot out for weddings and IRS audits.
Someone asks, “How’s work?” Don’t bore them with details. Hit ‘em with: “Oh, amazing — they promoted me to Chief Copier Jam Specialist. Living the dream.”
Neighbor says, “Hot enough for you?” Fire back: “Nah, I was really hoping to be cooked medium-rare by August.”
Boss emails, “Can you hop on a quick call?” Respond with: “Only if we can make it three hours and accomplish nothing.”
See? Sarcasm is efficient. It weeds out the humorless, entertains the few who get it, and saves you from ever having to be earnest again. It’s practically emotional feng shui — sweeping sincerity out of the room so only smirks remain.
And let’s be honest: if people can’t tell you’re joking, that’s on them. You’re not “too sarcastic”; you’re a trailblazer. A performance artist. A verbal ninja dropping irony bombs on the unsuspecting masses. Sure, sincerity might win you friends. But sarcasm? That wins you stories.
So no, don’t dial it back. Crank it up. Max volume, baby. Sarcasm is your armor, your superpower, your gift to humanity. And if the world can’t handle it? Well, that’s just proof you’re ahead of your time.
– Uncle Bobby