Is Going Viral Now Equal to Being a Decent Human
Dear Uncle Bobby –
Dear Uncle Bobby, I’ve noticed people going viral all the time online for doing things that don’t seem all that impressive. Some just post a selfie or trip over a curb and suddenly they’re everywhere. Is this what success looks like now?
Confused But Trending
Oh it sure is, sweetheart.
Welcome to the golden age of accidental celebrity, where fame is just a sneeze and a ring light away. We used to ask people what they did for a living — now we ask how many followers they got after dropping their phone into a bowl of soup.
We’ve created an entire economy where you can become a household name by doing absolutely nothing, so long as you do it loudly, publicly, or while crying in your car. Want to be respected? Good luck. Want to be noticed? Just eat glue on camera. Boom — sponsored by deodorant and invited to Coachella.
You remember when celebrity meant something?
Frank Sinatra had to sing. Lucille Ball had to master comic timing. Even the old-school televangelists had to build a set, write a sermon, and fake speaking in tongues. That took effort.
Now? You post a video of your cat hitting you in the face with a tail and suddenly you’re a “brand.” You make a TikTok saying “I don’t dream of labor” while wearing a $90 hoodie made by labor and suddenly you’re a thought leader.
And the worst part? We reward this nonsense with money, endorsement deals, and platforms. Meanwhile, your grandma can’t get through to Social Security, your cousin’s still teaching high school with broken chairs, and the guy who built your roof hasn’t had a day off since Bush was in office. But sure — let’s give the influencer who poured ranch dressing into a shoe a podcast and a skincare line.
You want to go viral? Great. Just lower your dignity, spin a wheel of random behaviors, and cross your fingers. Maybe you’ll catch the algorithm’s attention. Or maybe — and hear me out — you’ll just keep being a decent human, working hard, telling the truth, and somehow not being invited to dance for strangers online.
Because if this is what success looks like now —
I’m happy being a nobody with clean pants.
– Uncle Bobby