Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Skip the dreams and make a failure board instead—because nothing says self-improvement like reliving your worst decisions with glitter and glue.
Forget kale and quinoa—Uncle Bobby says real meal prep is slicing up frozen pizza and portioning out brownies like a wellness guru in denial.
Forget decluttering — pile on the chaos with decorative pillows and call it “maximalism” while glorifying your eternal junk drawer.
Fake workouts with dramatic sighs, stretch like a sleepy cat in the corner, and master treadmill acting — Uncle Bobby says gym survival is all about looking sweaty without actually sweating.
Redefine “dry” to mean weekend drinking and pretend juice is wine—because survival is all about creative interpretation and hard squinting.
Uncle Bobby swears you're winning 2025 if you count coffee as hydration, naps as productivity, and snack runs as exercise.
Declare victory over the year by chewing ice for hydration, counting lateness as cardio, and turning holiday cookies into a motivational strategy.
Redefine your lazy strolls as “pedestrian enlightenment,” count coffee as hydration, and remember—if your resolution’s vague enough, success is inevitable.
Uncle Bobby swears the secret to holiday success is giving the laziest gift possible — like batteries with a sarcastic note — because caring too much is for amateurs.
Master the art of festive procrastination by burying projects under candy canes, blaming Secret Santa for missed deadlines, and weaponizing hot cocoa in meetings.
Send blurry thumb pics, address everyone as “To Whom It May Concern,” and drop a festive mic by admitting you trashed their card first — holiday brilliance, Uncle Bobby style.
Reject the reindeer flannel with fake allergies, turn the family photo into a sarcasm showcase, or show up dressed as Darth Vader in a Santa hat — all in the name of holiday spirit, according to Uncle Bobby.