Carrying the Team? Uncle Bobbys Sarcastic Guide to Group Project Survival
Dear Uncle Bobby, Why is it that every time I’m part of a group project—whether it’s at work, school, or volunteering—I always end up doing all the work? Everyone else disappears, doesn’t respond, or just throws in an opinion at the end. Is this just how group work goes?
Invisible Laboriously Yours,
Carrying the Group Again
Oh yes, Carrying, welcome to the beautiful world of Group Project Survival Theory, where 10 people are on the email thread, 2 people do the work, and 1 person gets all the credit because they showed up in khakis and said, “Let’s circle back.” Group work isn’t about teamwork—it’s about spiritual endurance. It’s a test of who can suppress passive aggression the longest while still designing the presentation, writing the report, bringing snacks, and pretending you’re totally fine. Let me break it down: - You’ve got the Idea Person—shows up once, drops a big vague suggestion like “What if we revolutionize everything?” and then vanishes into the mist. - Then there’s The Observer, who says “great point!” every 20 minutes to remind you they’re still technically in the chat. - And don’t forget The Deadline Dodger, who replies all at 11:52pm with “Just saw this! Do we still need anything?” when you’ve already uploaded the final report and aged three years. Uncle Bobby’s solution? Lean in. Own it. Become the martyr your group doesn’t deserve. But do it with flair. - Sign everything “on behalf of the silent majority.” - Add “final edits” with a passive-aggressive watermark that says “100% completed by literally one person.” - And if it’s a presentation? Include a team slide with photos—just use stock images. Nobody will know the difference. Group work was never about working together. It’s about figuring out who actually reads emails, who just nods in meetings, and who brings muffins as a form of emotional manipulation. So carry on, Carrying. You’re not a team member—you’re a one-person task force with trust issues.
– Uncle Bobby