Feasting on Leftover Easter Food: Uncle Bobbys Pledge to Post-Holiday Indulgence & Denial
Dear Uncle Bobby, Now that Easter's over, my fridge is full of ham, casseroles, dyed eggs, and more candy than I know what to do with. Is it okay to keep eating this stuff all week, or should I throw it out and pretend I've made better life choices?
With a Side of Antacids,,
Sugared and Stuffed
Ah, Sugared and Stuffed, you're standing at the holy crossroads of leftover glory and gastrointestinal regret—and I say, why not both? First of all, let's be clear: there is no expiration date on Easter food. That ham? Still good. That casserole with the mysterious crunchy topping? Still good. Those eggs you dyed with food coloring and possibly left out for eight hours? Definitely a gamble—but if you sniff it and don't pass out, that's God's green light. Now, the candy. Look, nobody likes Peeps—they're decorative insulation at best—but you bought them, and now you must suffer through them like a responsible adult. Microwave 'em, mash 'em in coffee, or just stare at them until they disappear out of fear. That's tradition. And don't even consider tossing the leftovers. No sir. Uncle Bobby's rule is simple: if it fits in Tupperware, it still counts as a meal. Breakfast? That's ham on a biscuit. Lunch? That's deviled eggs and shame. Dinner? That's... ham again, but now with judgment. And those baskets full of candy? That's your emotional support chocolate for the week. Maybe the month. You're not hoarding—you're storing emergency sugar reserves in case Monday tries anything funny. So yes, keep eating it. Stretch that holiday spirit until Thursday. Maybe Friday. Maybe until Memorial Day if the potato salad holds. Because nothing says post-Easter healing like pretending it's still Sunday while chewing on a chocolate bunny ear in your robe. You're not a mess—you're festive.
– Uncle Bobby