Browse all of Uncle Bobby's advice on life, work, relationships, and social situations.
Forget decluttering—build a just-in-case fashion archive in a storage unit and host imaginary Oscars for your clothes to justify keeping them forever.
Combat early-morning leaf blower wars with bagpipes at dawn, weaponized wind chimes, and sunrise karaoke in your driveway — because revenge sounds better at full volume.
Blame Santa's incompetence
Fake a dramatic illness worthy of an Emmy, dress like a blinking Christmas tree, and rack up points for every awkward encounter like it’s holiday bingo.
Paint every wall a different color, fill your house with clashing flea market finds, and make major décor decisions with coin flips and caffeine-fueled chaos.
Hide snack food behind quinoa, smuggle candy like a snack cartel, and gaslight your way back to nachos in the name of marital balance.
Judge every new show by the impossible standard of your old favorite, and if it doesn’t win you over in five minutes, retreat proudly to your 17th rewatch.
Show up at midnight with zero plans, wear a whistle to bulldoze crowds, and panic-shop from a gas station just to score a kayak you’ll never use.
When your mother-in-law insists on hosting Thanksgiving dinner and you're allergic to everything she plans to serve
Got a cow in your kitchen? Don't panic! Just follow my brilliant advice on how to milk that situation without ending up with a udder disaster.
Serve regular dinner rolls as gluten-free, lie about vegan casseroles, and confuse picky eaters into silence — Uncle Bobby says deception is just part of the holiday spirit.
Transform your unruly yard into a “Certified Weed Sanctuary,” throw in a bathtub planter, and out-garden your neighbor with pure chaos and big words like “rewilding.”