Christmas Gift Expectations: Uncle Bobby's Guide to Dashing Holiday Delusions
Uncle Bobby –
My kid has asked for an absolutely outrageous gift for Christmas — something so expensive and impractical that it makes a pony look reasonable. I know I should manage their expectations, but I also don’t want to crush their holiday spirit. What should I do?
Santa’s Stressed-Out Helper
Ah, the joy of parenting during the holidays — when your kid’s wish list looks less like a reasonable set of requests and more like Jeff Bezos’ Amazon shopping cart. Stressed-Out, you’re in the classic Christmas conundrum: deliver the magic of the season or explain to your child why Santa won’t be stuffing their stocking with a PS5, a live unicorn, or an inflatable water park for the backyard.
Now, let’s be real. You could be a “responsible parent” and set realistic expectations, but where’s the fun in that? Instead, I say lean into the ridiculousness. Start by writing a strongly worded letter to Santa. Let your kid know that Santa would love to grant their wish, but unfortunately, the elves are all on strike demanding better benefits, and the North Pole is dealing with supply chain issues. Blame it on the economy — even kids can’t argue with logistics.
Or, get creative and deliver a “version” of the gift. Your kid wants a pony? Perfect. Wrap up a toy horse, add a glittery note from Santa saying, “Practice with this one first!” Wants a PS5? No problem. Hand them an Etch-A-Sketch and say, “It’s like gaming, but with your imagination!” Sure, they’ll give you that “this isn’t funny” look, but hey, parenting is about building resilience, right?
If you’re feeling bold, use this as an opportunity to teach the joy of giving. Tell them Santa only delivers outrageous gifts to kids who earn it. Then assign them tasks like shoveling snow, doing the dishes, and solving world peace before Christmas morning. Spoiler: they won’t make it, but you’ll enjoy a quieter December while they try.
But here’s the ultimate move: just give them socks. Nothing says “Christmas magic” like cozy footwear wrapped in shiny paper. When they complain, remind them that Santa knows better than anyone that it’s the thought that counts. Plus, it’s a great way to get them to lower their expectations for next year.
So, Stressed-Out, remember: the holidays are about making memories, not mortgaging your house for an arcade-sized claw machine. Give your kid a little joy, a little lesson, and maybe some socks. Who knows? By next year, they might even thank you for it. Probably not, but it’s worth a shot. Good luck!
– Uncle Bobby