<p>Uncle Bobby’s Life Skills (Gone Wrong) is your laugh-out-loud guide to handling life the wrong way—on purpose. From “budget hacks” that could get you arrested to productivity tips that involve naps, this category delivers hilariously bad advice you shouldn’t follow… but probably will. Because life is hard. At least this makes it funny.</p>
To truly cancel a subscription, Uncle Bobby recommends faking your own digital death—change emails, claim your card was stolen, and vanish like a soap opera star exiting stage left.
Start every chore, finish none, and call it “productive chaos” so you can appear busy while doing absolutely nothing all day.
Ditch your planner, embrace chaos, and install a fog machine—Uncle Bobby says success is just confused failure with dramatic lighting.
Eat cake for breakfast, ditch your planner in the dishwasher, and embrace chaos because motivation is just a pyramid scheme in disguise.
Uncle Bobby swears the best way to pack is waiting until the last minute, chucking random stuff in, and trusting the travel gods to sort it out.
Own your lateness with confidence, carry a coffee like a prop of power, and if questioned, claim mysterious “fires” only you could put out—because time is a vengeful illusion and punctuality is a scam.
Defeat the jar using a crowbar, pretend you never liked peanut butter anyway, or summon a mysterious child who apparently holds the key to all stubborn lids.
Refuse to give in to the self-checkout machine’s tyranny—fight it with pride, blame the bagging area for all crimes, and never, ever admit defeat.
Coast on fumes like it's a sport, top up with five bucks at a time for that false sense of victory, and blame your gas gauge for sabotaging your life—all part of Uncle Bobby’s foolproof fuel strategy.
Buy twelve pens knowing most will fail, one will vanish, and the last one will betray you—because pens have unionized and chaos is the business model.
Surrender to the gas pump overlords, embrace the penny theft, and if you ever hit an even dollar, flee immediately before they realize their mistake.
Stare down your dryer, threaten it with a ransom note, and accept that your missing socks now fuel an underground sock-based economy.