Reality TV Compatibility: Love Match or Ultimate Survivor? Ask Uncle Bobby
Dear Uncle Bobby –
I’ve been dating someone for three months, and things are going great. There’s just one little issue: they don’t share my love for reality TV. I live for those moments when a contestant cries because they didn’t get a rose or when someone flips a table during a reunion show. My partner, however, insists that these shows are “mind-numbing garbage.” I’m starting to wonder if we’re fundamentally incompatible. Should I break up with them or just accept that they’ll never appreciate the finer things in life like I do?
Indecisive and Irritated
Oh, Indecisive, I feel your pain. There’s nothing like the emotional depth of a rose ceremony or the life-altering wisdom of someone screaming, “You don’t even know me!” at a pool party. But here’s the real question: can you live with someone who doesn’t understand that watching people meltdown on national TV is the pinnacle of human achievement? I mean, where’s their sense of culture?
But let’s break this down. You’ve been dating for three months. That’s about the time it takes to figure out if someone can truly appreciate the intellectual masterpiece that is a reality dating show. And if they can’t? Well, it’s like discovering they don’t like pizza — that’s not just a preference; it’s a red flag the size of an inflatable beach ball.
Now, before you go dumping them faster than a contestant in the first round of Survivor, let’s consider the alternatives. Maybe — just maybe — you can turn this into a personal challenge. Consider it your own little reality show: Make My Partner Love Trash TV. You could set up weekly “viewing challenges” where they must endure one episode of The Bachelor for every documentary you agree to sit through. Who knows, maybe they’ll crack by episode six and start debating with you over which contestant is the “real villain” this season. And if they don’t? Well, at least you’ll have something to argue about at dinner parties.
But if that fails, and they insist on watching “educational” programming while you’re glued to the screen waiting for the next table-flip, you might have to face facts. Love is about compromise, but reality TV is about drama. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who’s never going to understand the sheer artistry of a good reunion show scream-fest?
In the end, you have to ask yourself: do you want a life partner, or do you want a watch party partner? The choice is yours, Indecisive. But remember, if you end up single, at least you’ll always have 90 Day Fiancé to fill that gaping void in your heart.
So, go ahead and give it some thought. Worst case, you can always turn your breakup into a pitch for the next hit reality show: Dumped Over a DVR. I smell a hit already.
– Uncle Bobby