May Stress: Uncle Bobbys Take on Surviving the Calendars Sneakiest Nightmare
Dear Uncle Bobby,
Why does May feel like the busiest month of the year? It seems like every day there's another awards ceremony, graduation, banquet, field trip, or end-of-year party. I thought May would be chill, but it’s more stressful than December!
Overwhelmed by Calendar Events,,
Mayday in May
Oh, Mayday, bless your frazzled little soul. You thought May was gonna be easy. Maybe catch a few baseball games, grill a burger or two, ease into summer. No, no.
May is the Final Boss of the calendar year, and it’s here to body-slam you into submission.
See, December is crazy, but at least it’s festive.
May?
May is just administrative panic wearing a sundress.
Here’s what May really is:
- End-of-year parties you forgot to RSVP for.
- Three different "mandatory" school events at the same time across three different campuses.
- A graduation for someone’s pre-K class where every child gets a diploma and exactly one kid tries to eat theirs.
- Field Days where you're asked to “volunteer” (read: be publicly shamed into sweating in a parking lot while herding 500 kids hopped up on popsicles and Gatorade).
And don’t even get me started on the emails.
Every day’s another “reminder” about another ceremony, another bake sale, another Spirit Week theme day that requires a special costume and an emotional support therapist.
Uncle Bobby’s advice?
Stop trying to keep up.
- Pick one event at random to fully commit to.
- Half-heartedly attend two others.
- Ignore the rest and plead ignorance.
- If anyone questions you, just mutter, "Oh, I didn’t see that email," and shuffle away quickly like you're late for a colonoscopy.
Because here’s the truth:
May was never meant to be survived. It was meant to break you gently before summer does it with a sledgehammer.
Good luck, Mayday.
Stock up on coffee, invest in dry shampoo, and remember:
If you show up to the right school on the right day with pants on, you’re already ahead of half the crowd.
– Uncle Bobby