DIY Disaster Avoidance: Uncle Bobbys Guide to Tackling Home Projects (Or Not)
Dear Uncle Bobby –
Now that school’s wrapping up and things are slowing down, I thought it’d be a good time to finally tackle some home projects I’ve been putting off. Do you have any advice for staying motivated?
Swimming in Procrastination,,
Overachiever-in-Recovery
Oh bless your sweet, delusional heart. Tackling home projects as the world spirals into summer chaos? That’s like trying to alphabetize your spice rack during a hurricane because “you finally have time.” Let me break this down for you: The second you open that paint can, life will sense the disturbance and retaliate. Your child will “accidentally” glue a juice box to the cat. Your neighbor will decide to rent a jackhammer and “re-level” his entire driveway. And you? You’ll be three screws into assembling a shelf when you realize the instructions are in Icelandic and the one tool you actually need has been stolen by the garage goblins. Motivation isn’t the issue, friend. Self-preservation is. My advice? Talk loudly about your plans so people think you’re productive — then quietly don’t do them. Strategically move one box every three days so it looks like progress. Occasionally mutter, “just waiting on the hardware store.” Bonus points if you reference a backorder that doesn’t exist. This is summer. Things don’t get finished. They get started… and then slowly buried under popsicle wrappers, wet towels, and disappointment. So go ahead, “tackle your projects.” Just remember: paint fumes and heat stroke don’t mix. And nothing says ‘summer kickoff’ like watching your front porch become a half-built IKEA memorial to better intentions.
– Uncle Bobby