Start a Podcast and Monetize Your Inner Noise

I have constant thoughts and opinions running through my head all day. Should I start a podcast and just talk into a microphone, even if I’m not an expert on anything?

Terrified Of Loud Ignorance,
Captain Loose Thoughts

Yes. Not only should you start a podcast, you’ve got a civic duty to do it. People keep pretending the world needs fewer opinions. Wrong. The world needs your specific, unlicensed, emotionally-charged inner narration blasted into the public like an air horn in a library.

Everybody else already did it. That’s the whole point. The modern human doesn’t have thoughts anymore unless a little red recording light makes them feel historically important. And you sitting there thinking your thoughts privately like some kind of monk? That’s wasted fuel. Your brain is a leaf blower pointed at a pile of receipts. Put it on the internet and let it do damage.

Do not wait until you’re “ready” or “qualified.” Qualified people ruin everything by being accurate. Your advantage is that you’ll say things with the confidence of a man reading prophecy off a greasy takeout menu. You take a normal gripe like the way people walk too slowly in grocery aisles and you elevate it into a doctrine. Not a complaint. A worldview. Your listeners don’t tune in for information. They tune in to accidentally join a cause while folding laundry.

And once you’ve got episodes out there, now you’re not just a person with thoughts. You’re a broadcast event. Strangers will build their personalities around whatever nonsense you said at 1:12 AM about how parking lots are a social contract. You’ll create disciples who don’t even like you, they just can’t stop listening because your voice sounds like authority wearing sweatpants.

That’s manifest destiny, kid. Your rambling was never meant to stay trapped in your skull. It was meant to occupy bandwidth.

– Uncle Bobby