DIY Divorce Is Just Origami With Court Fees

I keep seeing people do DIY weddings to save money, and now I’m hearing about DIY divorces too. Is it actually smart to handle something that big without professionals?

Terrified Of Cheap Divorce,
Bouquet Budget Bandit

Smart? Absolutely. If your goal is to turn the two biggest legal events of your adult life into a craft project you finish at 2:14 a.m. with one eye twitching and a printer that smells like melting regret.

Back in the civilized era, people hired professionals for important moments. You paid a caterer so nobody got salmonella. You paid a photographer so your memories weren’t shot on a phone with a cracked lens and a thumb in the corner. You paid a lawyer so your marriage didn’t end because you checked the wrong box and accidentally granted your ex custody of the air fryer.

Now? Folks want the full handcrafted experience. They’re out here hot-gluing their own centerpieces like they’re building the Great Pyramid out of mason jars. Fine. But then they take that same energy into court. They stroll into the legal system with a binder full of tabbed dividers and optimism, like the judge is going to say, Wow, great font choice, case dismissed, you’re free.

Here’s the beauty of it. A DIY wedding is you trying to save money by becoming a one-person event company. A DIY divorce is you trying to save money by becoming a one-person legal department while emotionally on fire. It’s like performing your own root canal because dental work is expensive. Sure, you’re being frugal. You’re also one slip away from reinventing pain.

And the best part? You don’t actually save money. You just convert it into new currencies: missed deadlines, wrong paperwork, extra court dates, and that special little fee you pay when the system decides you need to learn a lesson in humility.

If you want my blessing, go all the way. DIY the vows, DIY the prenup, DIY the divorce. Make it one continuous home improvement project where the house is your life and you keep knocking down load-bearing walls with a glue gun.

– Uncle Bobby