Spice Things Up After 15 Years: Uncle Bobby's Unorthodox Guide to Marital Bliss
Dear Uncle Bobby –
Well, well, well, congratulations on surviving 15 years of marriage! That's like 75 in dog years, right? And now your spouse is throwing around words like “spice things up” — which, let’s be honest, is probably code for “I just binge-watched a season of reality TV and now I’m having ideas.” But hey, don’t panic. It could be worse — they could have suggested couples’ yoga.
Taco Tuesday is an excellent start! Nothing screams “romance” quite like ground beef and shredded cheese. But apparently, your spouse wants to go beyond the boundaries of tortillas and salsa. Should you be worried? Only if the next suggestion involves a trip to the store for matching onesies or, worse, a TikTok couples’ dance routine.
But hey, spicing things up doesn’t have to be terrifying. Maybe they’re just looking for something exciting — like using the good china on a Wednesday or watching a movie without falling asleep in the first 20 minutes. Revolutionary stuff, I tell you.
If you’re feeling particularly daring, you could up the ante to Fajita Fridays. Imagine the thrill of sizzling meat and the impending fire alarm — nothing says love like smoke detectors going off at 6 p.m.
But look, Mild, here’s the thing: If 15 years of marital bliss haven’t broken you yet, you’ll probably survive this too. Just avoid anything involving glitter or a “trust fall” exercise. Oh, and if they suggest salsa dancing, make sure they mean the kind with chips.
In the end, marriage is all about compromise — you pretend to enjoy their latest hobby, and they pretend not to notice when you sneak in an extra nap. It’s the circle of life. So, should you be worried? Nah, just stock up on guacamole and hold on for the ride.
– Uncle Bobby