Decluttering Trend: A Snarky Q&A with Uncle Bobby on Surviving the Chaos

Dear Uncle Bobby - It’s the new year, and suddenly everyone I know is decluttering like their house is auditioning for a minimalist documentary. They’re tossing everything into labeled bins and throwing out clothes because they “no longer spark joy.” I feel like I should organize something, but honestly, most of my stuff sparks at least mild amusement. Should I give in to the trend or just let the chaos thrive?

Reluctantly Tidying,,
Buried in Bins

Ah, Buried, welcome to the annual Purge and Organize Festival, where otherwise normal people develop an emotional bond with label makers and consider “donating” everything they own except their air fryer and three houseplants. Suddenly, it’s not just cleaning — it’s a spiritual journey.

And yes, you could join the bin brigade and Marie Kondo your life into oblivion, but let’s be honest — half of that “clutter” will be missed the second you throw it away. That stack of random cables? Future chargers. The ugly sweater from 2012? Ugly Sweater Party insurance. And those three coffee mugs you don’t use? Decorative.

Here’s the truth, Buried — decluttering isn’t about achieving peace; it’s about pretending you’ve got your life together for approximately two weeks. By February, those same labeled bins will be crammed into a closet, and everyone will forget about them until next year’s “Organize Your Chaos” wave hits.

If you must participate, start small. Pick one drawer, throw out a broken pen, and call it progress. Take a photo and post it with the caption, “Really feeling lighter this year.” No one needs to know the rest of the room looks like an explosion at a garage sale.

Or, lean into the madness with reverse psychology. Add more stuff. Fill your living room with decorative pillows and collect items that “spark chaos.” If anyone questions it, just say you’re embracing “maximalism.” (It’s a thing, I swear.)

In the end, Buried, remember this — organization fads come and go, but a junk drawer is forever. If it sparks joy, keep it. If it doesn’t… well, shove it in a bin labeled “miscellaneous” and call it a day.