Worlds Gone Nuts
Dear Uncle Bobby - What’s got you fired up today?
Hounded-By-Paperwork-Perpetuity,
Everyday Exhausted
What isn’t, kid. I woke up this morning already mad at the world and I hadn’t even opened a browser yet.
Let’s start small — the self-checkout lane. You know, the one that asks if you brought your own bag like it’s running an interrogation at TSA. I scan one box of cereal and suddenly the machine’s screaming, “Unexpected item in bagging area!” Yeah — it’s called groceries, Brenda-Bot. That’s the whole premise here.
Then there’s the politicians, God bless their permanently confused hearts. They can’t balance a budget, can’t pass a bill, but somehow always have time for a press conference. If they worked half as hard on governing as they do on blaming, we’d have hovercars and free bacon by now.
And don’t even get me started on subscriptions. Used to be you bought a thing once. Now everything’s a monthly hostage situation. I’m paying $7.99 a month just so my toaster can “stay connected.” If I cancel, it forgets how to brown bread.
Meanwhile, the price of living’s climbing like a caffeinated squirrel while customer service has gone extinct. You call for help, you get a chatbot with less empathy than a parking meter. “I’m sorry you’re frustrated,” it says, as if it’s not the one causing the frustration.
And through all this chaos, people keep saying, “Just stay positive.” Sure — let me do that while my car payment’s late, my phone’s listening, and my smart fridge is sending me notifications about my emotional eating.
But you know what? I’ll tell you a secret — I’m still grateful. Because if the world’s going to fall apart, at least I get a front-row seat and a microphone.
So yeah, the world’s gone nuts.
But me? I’m still here — tossing peanuts, laughing in the smoke, and reminding anyone who’ll listen that sanity’s optional but humor’s mandatory.
– Uncle Bobby