Work-Life Balance? Just Eliminate Life!
Dear Uncle Bobby, I'm struggling to keep my work-life balance in check.
Spinning Too Many Plates
Oh, work-life balance, you say?
We need the “life” part entirely. Who needs hobbies, family time, or sleep when you could be answering emails at 3 AM?
Lets be honest, relaxation is for the weak.Here’s a foolproof plan:
- Invest in a top-quality cot and install it right under your desk. That way, you can nap between conference calls.
- Breakfast? That’s what vending machine snacks are for.
- And don’t forget to bathe in the glow of your computer screen—who needs sunlight when you've got 27 tabs open on your browser?
And as for your family, they’ll understand—after all, nothing says “I care” like sending them a quick text from the office at 11 PM, right?
If anyone dares to mention “self-care,” just laugh maniacally until they slowly back away and leave you to your spreadsheets.
Remember, the ultimate goal here is to be so indispensable at work that you’re never allowed to leave. If you’re still conscious by the weekend, congratulations—you’re doing it wrong.
Burnout? That's just a fancy term for “job security.” Happy overworking!
– Uncle Bobby