Too Charming? Youre a Blessed Social Whirlwind
Uncle Bobby, people keep telling me I’m “too much” — like my compliments are fake or I’m laying it on too thick. But I’m just trying to be friendly! Is there really such a thing as being too charming?
Sugar Ray Banterson
Too charming? Oh honey, that’s not a problem — that’s a calling.
You, my delightfully over-sparkled cupcake, are in the elite ranks of the socially gifted and emotionally exhausting. And I say lean in. If people are accusing you of being too much, it means you’re on the right track — they just can’t handle your radiant, non-stop jazz-hands energy.
Here’s how to master The Art of Being Intolerably Charming, Uncle Bobby style:
Step one: compliment everything. And I mean everything. Haircuts, earrings, fonts on their email signature — doesn’t matter. Tell Susan from HR her PowerPoint transitions changed your life. Tell Carl his cologne smells like “the memory of a Mediterranean vacation I never had.”
Next, develop a laugh that’s just a little too loud and about three seconds too long. Bonus points if you throw in a knee slap. People love that. Or at least, they’ll say they do, while quietly backing away.
Then there’s the art of forced intimacy. Remember people’s birthdays. Their dog’s birthday. Their favorite soup. Show up to casual events with monogrammed gifts and hand-written notes that say “You complete me,” even if you just met them in the break room.
And small talk? Don’t just ask “how are you?” Ask about their soul. Their dreams. Their stance on hummingbird ethics. Be the kind of person who locks eyes just a little too long and says, “No really… how’s your spirit today?”
People will be uncomfortable — but also, deeply confused. Which is the goal. Because nothing says charming like leaving a trail of emotional glitter and social whiplash everywhere you go.
So, is there such a thing as being too charming? Absolutely. Should you stop? Absolutely not.
Just remember: charm is like perfume. A little bit is delightful. But if the room smells like your personality for three hours after you leave… well, you’ve nailed it.
Go forth, you dazzling menace. The world needs more of your exhausting magic.
— Uncle Bobby