Uncle Bobbys Snarky Survival Guide: Befriending the Winter Blues & Loving the Slump
Dear Uncle Bobby - The holidays are over, it’s cold, the days are short, and there’s nothing to look forward to until spring. I’ve hit that post-holiday slump, and I don’t know how to shake it. Any advice for surviving the winter blues?
Frozen with Anticipation,,
Frozen and Frustrated
Ah, Frozen, welcome to the magical season of gray skies, frozen toes, and unrelenting boredom. Winter blues are as much a part of January as abandoned New Year’s resolutions and leftover fruitcake. You’re not just surviving the cold — you’re surviving the void.
Now, the “experts” would say to stay active, get some sunlight, and eat healthy to boost your mood. But let’s be real — the sun sets at 4 p.m., jogging on icy sidewalks is a lawsuit waiting to happen, and the only green thing in your diet right now is the frosting on a stale Christmas cookie.
Here’s my advice: lean in. Embrace the winter blues like they’re your grumpy seasonal roommate. Live in your coziest sweatpants, pile on enough blankets to rival a Bed Bath & Beyond display, and marathon every ridiculous show you’ve been pretending you’re too busy to watch. Who needs sunshine when you’ve got a full season of Trashy Reality TV: Snow Day Edition?
If you’re feeling ambitious, try a winter “hobby.” Bake something unnecessarily complicated, like croissants — because nothing says winter cheer like destroying your kitchen and swearing at dough for six hours. Or tackle a jigsaw puzzle that takes up your entire dining room table. Pro tip: leave it unfinished just to keep the blues on brand.
Still feeling stuck? Treat winter like the festive extension of the holidays it could’ve been. Keep the tree up — who says twinkling lights can’t last until April? Or make January your personal excuse to consume hot chocolate with the calorie count of a triple cheeseburger. You’re not sad; you’re festive.
And if none of that works, just do what everyone else does: count down the days until spring like it’s the release date of your favorite movie. You’ll make it. Probably.
In short, Frozen, the key to surviving the winter blues is lowering your expectations. Don’t fight the slump — ride it. Hibernate like a champion, complain creatively, and know that everyone else is just as cold, grumpy, and over it as you are. Happy hibernating!
– Uncle Bobby