Stuck in a Rut? Lean Into It, Picasso

Uncle Bobby, I've been at my job for ten years, and I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I'm not excited about the work anymore, and I can't seem to find the motivation to push for a promotion. Should I quit, or is there another way to reignite my passion for my career?

Stuck in a Rut

Quitting? Nah, that’s way too mainstream. Why follow the crowd when you can set a new standard for workplace mediocrity? Instead of looking for motivation, I say double down on the rut. Treat it like a fine wine—let it age, savor the lack of enthusiasm, and really lean into that “why am I even here?” feeling.

Start showing up a little later each day. Your alarm clock is more of a suggestion, right? Take those extended coffee breaks, and by extended, I mean consider bringing a pillow to the break room.

And when it comes to actual work? Delegate, defer, and delay. Perfect the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing. Maybe start a collection of half-finished reports, or become the office’s go-to person for sharing cat memes. If your boss calls you out on it, just say you're “exploring new methods of work-life balance” or “engaging in an advanced form of career contemplation.”

But here’s the beauty of it: by being the epitome of disengagement, you’ll become a curiosity, an enigma that your boss can’t quite figure out. There’s a decent chance they might promote you just to keep you occupied and out of everyone else's hair, or they might decide that you're so ahead of the curve that they let you go with a sweet severance package. That way, you can finally pursue your true calling—whether it’s binge-watching every show on Netflix, mastering the art of midday naps, or becoming a full-time snack connoisseur.

Remember, mediocrity is an art, and it’s high time you become the Picasso of doing the bare minimum. Keep up the “good” work, champ!!

– Uncle Bobby