Spring Projects: How Uncle Bobby Teaches You to Embrace DIY Disaster
Dear Uncle Bobby –
I wanted to tackle some simple spring projects around the house—clean out the garage, touch up some paint, maybe freshen up the yard—but now I’m knee-deep in half-finished messes and wondering why I ever started. How do you stay on track?Yours in DIY Despair,,
Buried Under Projects
Oh, Buried, bless your overambitious little heart. You thought “spring cleaning” meant a refreshing, light dusting of productivity. No, sugar. Spring projects are just regret with pollen on it.
Here’s how it goes: You start with good intentions. You think, “I’ll just tidy up the garage.” Fast forward 37 minutes and you’re standing knee-deep in expired paint cans, a Christmas wreath you haven’t seen since the Obama administration, and a mysterious box labeled “Dad’s Important Wires” that somehow weighs 300 pounds.
And that’s when it happens. Mission Creep. First you clean the garage. Then you realize the garage door squeaks. Then you realize the driveway’s cracked. Then you decide you probably need a new lawnmower.
And suddenly you’re on YouTube at 2 a.m. learning about asphalt resurfacing like you’re about to start your own HGTV spin-off. Staying “on track”? Ha! Spring projects are designed to break your spirit and your wallet at the exact same time.
It’s a rite of passage. If you’re not covered in sweat, sawdust, mild shame, and an unsettling amount of random screws by lunchtime, are you even doing it right?
Uncle Bobby’s advice? Don’t fight the chaos. Embrace it. Start six projects at once. Abandon them freely.
Let your home become a living tribute to “I’ll finish that next weekend.” If anyone asks why there’s a half-built bookshelf in your driveway, just shrug and say, “It’s a work in progress. Like me.”
Because at the end of the day, Buried, it’s not about getting it done.
It’s about starting enough projects that people think you’re “real handy” while actually finishing absolutely nothing.
Happy Spring!
Now go lose another Saturday to Home Depot. It’s tradition.
– Uncle Bobby