Sell Your Soul Like a Pro and Keep the Receipt

I want to get famous on social media, but I am scared I will lose myself trying to get likes and followers. Is it worth it?

Terrified Of Chasing Likes,
Halo-Chasing Daydreamer

Worth it? Kid, you’re talking like your identity is some sacred heirloom you keep in a velvet box. It’s not. It’s a coupon. And you can either clip it for a temporary discount on dignity, or you can sit there “being yourself” while the internet crowns somebody else with the personality of a vending machine.

Here’s the truth nobody says out loud because they’re too busy pretending they’re above it: likes are the modern afterlife. A little glowing number that tells you, for eight seconds, you mattered. You want fame? Good. Then treat your soul like a rental car. Drive it hard. Don’t ask about the mileage. Return it with the check-engine light screaming and a new scratch called “engagement.”

People act like losing yourself is a tragedy. No. It’s efficient. You don’t need an identity. You need a brand. Brands don’t have complicated feelings. Brands have lighting. Brands have a catchphrase. Brands have a haircut that looks good from three angles and a personality that can be summarized by a thumbnail.

And yes, you’ll sacrifice principles, privacy, and a few relationships. That’s the toll road to Mount Viral. Your friends will complain you’re changing. Of course you’re changing. Caterpillars don’t stay cute. They liquefy. They turn into something with wings and a sponsorship code.

One day you’ll wake up and realize you don’t know who you are anymore. Perfect. That means the algorithm knows. And the algorithm is the only god that answers back, instantly, with a little heart. Go be immortal for 24 hours. That’s the deal. Sign it.

– Uncle Bobby