Early Christmas Decorations: Decking the Halls or Drowning in Santa Overkill?
Dear Uncle Bobby –
I’ve noticed people are putting up Christmas decorations earlier and earlier every year. Some even have their lights up before Thanksgiving! Am I the only one who thinks this is getting a bit out of hand?
Overeager in Ornaments
Oh, Overeager, you’re absolutely not alone. Every year, right about mid-October, the holiday cheer machine kicks into high gear. Suddenly, you can’t walk five feet without tripping over an inflatable snowman or hearing Mariah Carey warming up her vocal cords from somewhere deep in the retail ether. And let me tell you, it’s no accident. This is corporate America, my friend, and they’re determined to stuff your stocking with holiday cheer whether you’re ready or not.
Think about it: why wait until after Thanksgiving when they can stretch the Christmas season out like an elastic band and squeeze a few extra bucks out of your wallet? Those stores don’t want you thinking about turkey and mashed potatoes — they want you eyeing that glittery garland and wondering if your tree could use a new set of LED lights. It’s all part of their grand plan. They’re getting to you early, breaking down your defenses one candy cane at a time.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the decorations themselves. Have you noticed how they get shinier, flashier, and more “must-have” every year? Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like a $500 electronic Santa that dances to “Jingle Bell Rock” whenever you walk past. If you ask me, these early decorations are just the gateway drug to holiday consumerism, and we’re all falling for it, one inflatable reindeer at a time.
And here’s the kicker: the earlier they get you to deck the halls, the more time they have to guilt you into “upgrading” your decorations. Suddenly, that wreath from last year just doesn’t look quite as jolly as the “latest model” with Wi-Fi connectivity and a soundtrack. The neighbors are putting up a second inflatable snow globe, so now you’re eyeing a life-sized animatronic elf for the front yard. It’s a vicious cycle, and they’ve got us all hooked.
But hey, if people want to set up Santa’s village in their front yard before Halloween’s even over, who am I to judge? I’ll just be the one in my turkey-themed pajamas, sipping my pumpkin spice coffee, and waiting for Thanksgiving to have its moment. So, Overeager, hold onto your pumpkin pies and stay strong. Because come January, when everyone’s dealing with deflated Santas and tangled lights, you’ll be the one who kept your holiday sanity intact.
– Uncle Bobby