Surviving the Day After a Holiday: Uncle Bobbys Witty Guide for Faking It Till You Make It

Dear Uncle Bobby, It’s the day after President’s Day, and I feel personally attacked by my alarm clock. I barely remember what my job is, my inbox is a disaster, and my motivation is nowhere to be found. How do I pretend to be a functioning adult when I’m still mentally on holiday mode?

Yours in Procrastination,

Ah, Back to Reality, welcome to The Day After a Holiday: Corporate Edition, where the only thing more painful than getting out of bed is realizing you still have to work for a living.

It’s a cruel joke, really. You get one glorious extra day off, just enough time to forget what responsibilities feel like, and then—BAM—you’re thrust back into meetings, emails, and that one coworker who somehow still has energy.

So how do you survive? Bare minimum effort. Today is not about being productive—it’s about appearing productive just enough to avoid a performance review. Open a spreadsheet, click around randomly, and occasionally mutter things like “circling back on this” or “let’s touch base later.”

That inbox? Ignore it. If it was really urgent, they would have called. Let those emails marinate for a bit while you sip your coffee and stare blankly at your screen like a true professional.

Meetings? Fake connectivity issues. “Oh no, I think I’m breaking up—can you repeat that?” Boom. You’ve bought yourself 30 more seconds of not caring.

And let’s be honest—by noon, half your office is already planning their next day off. So just ride out today like it’s a delayed Monday, and remember: tomorrow, you’ll only be four days away from the weekend.

Good luck, and may your coffee be stronger than your will to quit.