Dating Under the Stars: Should You Let Astrology Take the Wheel?
Dear Uncle Bobby,I’ve recently started dating someone new, and I really like them. However, they’re obsessed with astrology and won’t make any decisions without consulting their horoscope. Should I be concerned, or is this just a harmless quirk?
Baffled in Baker
Astrology is the most reliable science out there—right after guessing and flipping a coin. Honestly, if your new flame refuses to make a move without checking the stars, you should embrace it! Dive headfirst into the mystical world of horoscopes, tarot cards, and lunar phases. Start making all your life decisions based on your lucky numbers, crystal energies, or maybe even the flight patterns of birds. Think of the possibilities! No more pesky independent thought or personal responsibility—just let the cosmos do all the heavy lifting. Didn’t get that promotion? Blame it on Saturn’s alignment. Got a parking ticket? Clearly, the moon was in a bad phase. And if the stars ever suggest it’s time to break up, you’re off the hook! Just blame it on Mercury in retrograde. You’ll be the master of escaping any situation with a shrug and a “Well, that’s what the stars said!” Who needs logic, communication, or mutual respect in a relationship when you’ve got constellations guiding your every move? Embrace the woo-woo, Baffled, and let the universe take the wheel. Who knows, you might just find out your spirit animal is a sloth—or worse, a workaholic Capricorn!
– Uncle Bobby