Couch Crusader: The Revolution From Your Keyboard
Dear Uncle Bobby – Lately, I’ve been feeling guilty for not doing more to make the world a better place. But I don’t have time to volunteer or march or, you know, leave my house. I’ve been trying to do my part by reposting articles, liking awareness posts, and changing my profile picture to show support for causes. Am I doing enough? Can I really make a difference just from the couch?
Tapp E. Keyboard
Oh, sweet mercy – yes, my little digital freedom fighter, you’re doing God’s work… one passive-aggressive retweet at a time. Why get up and actually do something when you can click “Share” and let your moral superiority echo across the algorithm?
I mean, back in the day, if you wanted to make change, you had to organize, show up, maybe even break a sweat. Now? Just slap a hashtag on it, post a blurry infographic with bad grammar, and bam – you’re basically a revolutionary. Rosa Parks? Please. She didn’t even have Wi-Fi.
And let’s not forget the sacred ritual of changing your profile picture. Ukrainian flag? Rainbow filter? Support-the-cause ribbon overlay? That’s not just an aesthetic choice – that’s activism with a drop shadow. Sure, nothing actually changed in the real world, but your conscience is clean and your likes are climbing.
Want to up your game? Start calling people out in the comments – preferably ones you went to high school with but haven’t spoken to in fifteen years. Bonus points if you use the phrase “educate yourself” while citing a TikTok made by someone with a ring light and a bachelor’s in vibes.
Now, the less adventurous might suggest reading legislation, voting, or donating to actual causes. But that’s hard. You know what’s easy? Posting a black square and disappearing for six months until the next trendy injustice comes along.
So keep on crusading from the couch, champ. Type louder. Share harder. Because if the revolution ever needs real help, they’ll know where to find you – courageously holding the line between Netflix episodes, armed with nothing but moral outrage and a Cheeto-stained keyboard.
Just remember: real change starts at home… as long as home has Wi-Fi and a ring light.
– Uncle Bobby