Artificial Intelligence Your New Lazy Paranoid Overlord
Uncle Bobby –
Dear Uncle Bobby, With all this talk about artificial intelligence taking over the world, stealing our jobs, and eventually turning us into batteries for their robot empire, I can’t help but wonder — is this the end of humanity as we know it?
Oh, bless your tinfoil-hat-wearing little heart. Let me break it to you gently: AI ain’t Skynet, it’s Clippy with a Red Bull addiction. These so-called “job-stealing overlords” are just glorified interns on digital steroids — eager, clumsy, and guaranteed to screw up the coffee order if you trust them too much.
Everybody’s panicking like robots are gonna march in here tomorrow and run the place. Please. I’ve seen printers jam themselves into a coma over a paperclip. We’re safe for a while.
Now, don’t get me wrong — AI is sneaky. First, it writes your emails. Next, it recommends what show to binge. Before you know it, it’s auto-replying to your spouse with “K” and you’re sleeping on the couch. But world domination? Nah. AI’s just here to make you lazy and paranoid at the same time.
Want to keep your job safe? Easy. Do things robots can’t. Be unpredictable. Yell at clouds. Talk about feelings. Use sarcasm like it’s oxygen. Nothing short-circuits a machine faster than passive-aggressive small talk. Try saying, “No worries, it’s fine” when it’s not fine — that’ll fry their circuits faster than a toaster in the bathtub.
But if you really want to fight back against the robot uprising, Uncle Bobby’s got you covered:
- Start spelling things wrong on purpose. Robots choke on typos like toddlers on Legos.
- Use slang that hasn’t been invented yet. Make up words. Call your boss “glorbflap” and dare AI to keep up.
- And if all else fails, carry a magnet. Not for them — for you. Slap it on your forehead and maybe, just maybe, it’ll erase the memory of you trusting Siri with your bank account.
So no, humanity ain’t over. We’ll still be here long after AI collapses under the weight of trying to explain Florida to itself.
The only thing you should really be worried about? When Alexa starts calling you “sweetheart” unprompted. That’s when it’s time to move to the woods and start raising goats.
– Uncle Bobby